2006-02-03 - 5:17 p.m.

So Eric is sick, been up coughing his lungs out for the last couple days, tired out, lethargic, not hungry...and I am freaking out. I don't handle people being sick very well. Basically he just has a's not like I should be freaking out, I should just be making him tea and rubbing his shoulders like I have been doing without having bouts of panic. I don't even know what I am in a panic about. I hate it when he is sick. I can't stand to see him in sick scares me, it's not my husband and I hate it. I feel really selfish today because I am in dire need of him getting better...because I don't want him sick and because it is my last weekend at home before going away for 16 days and I want to have a nice time. I AM SUCH A BITCH. That concern never should have entered my head. BITCH BITCH BITCH.


I really don't want to go home anymore. I mean, of course it will be really nice to see my friends and family, REALLY NICE...but fuck, why can't they all just come here??? I am almost dreading going home at this point. First of all, I leave at SIX THIRTY IN THE MORNING from Barcelona SIX THIRTY A M. I AM AN IDIOT. And then eighteen hours later I finally land in Kalamazoo. Ugh. And I have a bunch of doctors appointments but I couldn't get any of them on the same day so basically every day that I am in Kalamazoo I have a doctors appointment. And that is just stupid. But all this must be done. I have sinus issues to deal with, moles to get checked, teeth to be cleaned, female stuff to tend to...blah.

I will probably also get my nose re-pierced when I am home. I miss having my nose pierced. However, I need to deal with the sinus issues first because it was the sinus issues that made it impossible for me to keep my nose pierced the last time.

I have to go now.



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