2006-01-11 - 11:50 p.m.

No really, I've decided that I am a really bad human. I cannot function in normal society.

This is true.

I get terribly jealous of people that get up in the morning and go out to get croissants and pastries for guests.

Also, I admire people, like Talking Girl who never let people down. And I have always been the person who kind of lets people down. Unless you are very very very very very close to me. Then I will never let you down.

I just wonder where these super humans get their will and their energy from?

I am still working on my short story. I am trying really hard to write an actualy first draft and not just a draft that I go through later and change things. There is a difference I have learned. One almost NEEDS a really shitty first draft because it is amazing the utter overload of stuff that comes out when writing a real first draft and not thinking in terms of trying to be perfect. My whole story changed today because of some of the shitty writing I did last night that I felt could really BE something once I go back and make it coherent. So that's cool.

Also...Eric's company did more shitty shit today and I think that sucks. I hate that fucking company and I can't wait until this certain situation presents it's outcome so we don't have to live under shitty shit anymore. Bastards. My education money thing is cleared up though so I can take some more classes now.

I am thinking about getting a degree in nutrition. That's just about the only thing I can think of to get a degree in. I still don't want to "be" anything in this life. I wish I understood why. I could probably happily own a quiet ice cream shop too. I could be the nutritionist that owns an ice cream shop!! Yes!! Perfect!!

I am sleeping now.

As though you couldn't tell.


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