2005-10-21 - 6:27 p.m.
I refer to my husband as, “King Excess, The Excess King, Mr. Excess etc.,” One time when his boss was here visiting he and Eric were talking about some new responsibility Eric had, something to do with cutting costs and I burst out laughing incredulously. Because my husband is the man who, when sent out for tonic water will come back with five shopping bags full of every brand and flavor of tonic water the store had. My husband is the man who went to the store a few weeks ago for me, to get oranges, and came back with the oranges AND A CARTON OF EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM THE STORE HAD. Because I had remarked the night before that some chocolate ice cream would be good. This is just who my husband is. It is this behavior that helped me fall madly in love with him.
Anyway, I just printed out a three page list of stuff about his trip to the U.S. I have labeled it as ESSENTIALS…these are the things, like Sinus Tylenol, that I desperately need. Then there is the category…NON ESSENTIAL, BUT IF YOU’RE THERE…and on this list are things like salad dressing and pesto mix that he should grab if he happens to be in the stores that sell them…and then, lastly, there is the EXCESS, PURE EXCESS category in which I wrote…This is stuff I want…but don’t NEED by any means. This is the page you should refer to ONLY if you have that Eric-like need to get excessive. This is the stuff I wish I could get and would get for a treat if I had access to it. I could make use of this stuff so IF you MUST be excessive…get stuff from this list. Not that I don’t appreciate seventy five billion pounds of chocolate and ummm…bags of stuff from sex shops…but you know…this stuff I can use….I had to list this kind of stuff because while it is cool to get bags of excess stuff whenever he comes back from trips in Europe…I would be thinking to myself, if he came back from the U.S. with pounds of chocolate or something else that I can get here if I wanted to, that it would have been nice to have magazines or books or DVD’S that I can’t get here. If that makes any sense...it would be like really craving champagne truffles from Belgium and not telling someone that’s what you would like and they bring you back dark chocolate truffles from Belgium and you were SOOOOO close to having the champagne truffles and you can’t get them anywhere but in Belgium. Like that.
So, the categories are labeled BOLD and BIG and I handed him the three pages and that fucker quickly scanned through the first two pages, just flying by them and then read, in earnest, everything listed in EXCESS, PURE EXCESS. He’s so weird. He IS King Excess.
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