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2005-08-09 - 11:49 p.m.
This is why I don't like having guests (and by guests I mean...people that don't know me...it would be different if the guest was someone I invited or something...)...anyway, this is why I don't like having guests... Because I had to go to a restaurant yesterday that was right on the beach and it was ridiculously touristy and crappy and gross and I hated it. Because today I had to go to a restaurant where they had an actual sausage tree that they placed right smack in the middle of the table and made me sick to my stomach. AND...had no meal for a vegetarian. Because my cat peed on my boots tonight in protest for three days of having interrupted rituals and not enough time outside. Because I have felt as though these people have been judging me for the past three days, and in fact, am pretty sure that they think I am a stuck up, weird snob of some sort. They seem to think, and not understand, that the reason I don't eat meat is because I am picky. PICKY. Uh...yeah, how many things can I say to make you realize that I don't eat meat because it is fucking sick and wrong and I DON'T JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR CARNIVEROUS HABITS YOU FUCKERS. Because I am tired and feel like crying. Because there was an actual thunderstorm tonight, the first one since we have arrived here and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch watching movies in my sweatpants, drinking a nice bottle of wine...you know how nice that kind of day is every once in a while when there is a thunderstorm????? Yeah, well, I've been waiting for that kind of day since we arrived here and it finally happens WHEN WE HAVE GUESTS AND THAT REALLY SUCKS MY ASS IN HELL. Anyway, I am in a crappy fucking mood and I can't wait to be left the fuck alone for a while one of these days. This is really hard for me, this adjustment, the not being left the fuck alone ever. And I don't mean not having my husband around, I don't want HIM to leave me the fuck alone. I just want an extended amount of time in which nothing out of the ordinary occurs. It has been over three years since I have had that. ARGH. One of these days I am going to quit this diary because it has turned into a gigantic bitch session and really I don't mean for it to be like that. Honestly I DO have a good life here and I DO have some really awesome days. But it's the days like this that make me want to write and that is sad. But I do need a new diary. For sure. This one is getting stupid. Interesting thing about cats...they know the difference between adults and children. My cats are totally uneffected by the 12 year old staying with us right now (and he is a really sweet kid)...but if one of the strange adults walks by they all bolt behind the couch. It's weird. |
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