2005-07-06 - 1:28 p.m.

The other day I watched “The Life of David Gale,” and I have been thinking about it a lot, it really, oddly effected me. It was really well done. That movie was. I don’t like Kevin Spacey, he annoys the crap out of me…but in that movie I was able to not be annoyed with him and in fact, even got so caught up in the movie, from the get go, that at one point they were showing a scene where he was teaching his class and I was so engrossed in what he was saying that I was sitting there, in complete pause with a piece of toast lifted to my mouth listening intently and in the movie the bell rang and I had been so utterly, IN THE MOMENT, that I put my toast down, brushed my hands off and gathered my plate and napkin and EXITED the room just as if I was IN CLASS AND THE BELL HAD RUNG AND I HAD GATHERED MY BOOKS AND MATERIALS. I got out the door before I realized that one, I had not finished my toast and two, I was watching a movie.

Also, that same day I made a cake for Eric’s birthday. I was amazed and also relieved at my dexterity when it comes to making cakes. I have been feeling lately that my life has been a complete waste because I have not even mastered one thing in this life, there is not one thing that I am great at. But I forgot about cakes. I don’t even have to think about cakes. I can just make them, from scratch. I can mix the perfect butter cream for decorative purposes and I know without even thinking about it that if you are using red dye for an icing color you have to make the butter cream just a little thicker because red dye has the tendency to make the icing a little more runny than the other colors. Which is especially helpful to know when making icing roses…which I didn’t, but nevertheless, I know that if I had been my knowledge of the red dye would have been important.

Also, a couple days ago Eric returned from the U.K. bearing many gifts for me. Most importantly, CAT NIP. Cat nip being totally unheard of and obviously unavailable for purchase here. I love giving my cats cat nip. It makes me laugh. He also brought me 100 tulip bulbs from Amsterdam (airport) and a huge bag of vegetable and flower seeds (because my last attempt to plant a garden failed when that animal/bird/snail whatever ate my tiny, beautiful baby plants)AND magazines and three books. It was quite a haul. And this week he is in France and when he comes back I will have TWO 2 kilo bars of Italian chocolate from Alberto who gets them for me when he goes to Torino. And these huge bars of chocolate are almost my favorite thing in the world. One will last me about a month. And to my brother’s disgust, I just carry a chunk around with me. He says one time with a look of horrified disgust, “Uh, where’d you get that big ol’ piece of dirty chocolate?” Because it WAS dirty, and I just kept eating it anyway.

My brother, by the way, FLEW to New York City this past week and I am really hoping, though I have to confirm this yet, that he flew in order to practice for his eventual (SOON PLEASE) flight over the ocean to see me. My brother does not like to fly, probably more than I don’t like to fly. My mother also does not like to fly…but in her case she just DOESN’T fly. Ever. I have never known her to fly. My brother and I will both fly if we have to. I am trying to lure my mother here by telling her about my vet, who she would fall instantly in mad love with, and about the gypsy festival next May in Granada which I plan to attend if I can ever get past this annoying fear of leaving my cats alone.

I am reading a book by Wallace Stegner right now. Angle of Repose. Wallace Stenger is a fabulous writer. I can’t believe how perfectly he articulates very intimate human behavior…and I’m not talking about sex…I am talking about just being human, the things we don’t discuss but that just are. He is very good. I have to keep checking to make sure that he is a man because he seems to know women very well…describing things that I would normally think only a woman could describe with any sort of truth. I’m a little overwhelmed right now with my reading. I will find a writer I like and I will read every single book they have written. And I have never had a time where I had THREE writers I wanted to read…as I do right now. And of course, all three writers have been prolific, it isn’t as though they each have three books…no, they all have MANY books. Just with Paul Auster, and he is the least prolific, I have eight more books to read. Phillip Roth is another story, I may be reading his books until the day I die because he has a billion out there AND he has a new one this year. I think Paul Auster has a new one this year as well. AND, I have the John Irving book arriving within the next couple weeks. I will probably spend my entire stay here in Spain reading. That’s all I did yesterday.

Oh yesterday…yesterday was good. I got up and made coffee and read out in the sun. Then it got too hot so I made iced tea and went back outside to read and then I got hot again so I got in the pool and read while floating around for a few hours. Then I took a bath, and read, and the Eric came home and we sat outside in the covered porch and had tapas and split a beer. And then he left (which was the only icky part of the day, I HATE it when he has to leave AFTER work for more work crap)for dinner with some clients and I had some leftover cake and read some more and then I watched Sex in the City and came upstairs and brushed my teeth and got into bed and read some more and then I fell asleep. And this morning I woke up (the second time, the first time I woke up at 5 am because I had to bring Eric to the airport) and I am all golden from my day in the sun yesterday. I like to be golden. It’s pretty.

Oh anyway…I have to go do something now. I hadn’t intended to write an entry.


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