2005-06-29 - 5:23 p.m.

Dear Digital+ satellite TV…Fuck off.
Dear Rabbits or whatever strange creature ate twenty or so baby tomato plants that I grew from seed….Fuck off.
Dear Spanish language that I can’t learn and that is making me feel like the biggest fucking moron on the face of the planet, actually, come to think of it….Dear all language and whatever fuckheads that didn’t change this system a long time ago and make us, everyone, speak the same language…Fuck off. Double FUCK OFF.
Dear heat…Fuck off.
Dear people that light bottle rockets ALL DAY LONG….Fuck off.
Dear fat thighs….Fuck off.
Dear tailbone that keeps popping for no apparent reason…Fuck off.
Dear Dumbfucker (s) that keeps letting their dog (s) shit on the sidewalk in front of our house and just LEAVES IT THERE…FUCK OFF.
Dear stupid shopping carts with wanky wheels that I can’t steer…Fuck off.

Dear Boy…thank you.
Dear kitties….thank you.
Dear swimming pool….thank you.
Dear gelato place on beach…thank you.
Dear baked provolone cheese….thank you.
Dear swallows that fly at mach speed around the house…thank you (unless you are the fuckers that ate my tomatoes.)
Dear palm tree that looks exactly like a gigantic pineapple…thank you.
Dear sea air…thank you.
Dear kid that fell at my feet the other day and interrupted particularly foul thoughts in my head and made me laugh…thank you.
Dear twelve thirty in the afternoon when I get out of that godforsaken hellish language class…thank you.
Dear jasmine…thank you.

I have been trying to write an entry for the past five days….this is the best I came up with. The problem with trying to write an entry is that I am not doing well…and I don’t want to not be doing well...I feel like an idiot for not doing well because not doing well is STUPID and my feeling STUPID is part of the reason I am not doing well…and FUCK!!!!!!! See? I can’t write an entry. I cannot allow myself to complain or be uncomfortable anymore because that is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS…I have everything I need now. I am living a god damned dream. SO WHY MUST I FEEL SO TERRIBLE???????????? WHHHHHYYYYYYY?????



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