2005-04-19 - 4:07 p.m.

HA! I finally got a new nose ring that is one, able to be inserted into my nose flesh (the last one I bought was impossible to get in) and two...PRETTY. PRETTY NOSE RING! I feel so much better now. That ugly piece of metal they pierced it with was SO NOT ME. This one is sparkly, small, pretty. Me. Okay well...I wouldn't exactly describe me as sparkly, small and pretty...but I guess that I consider things sparkly small and pretty to be my type.


I have this problem with this girl at work and I have never been able to put my finger on what my problem is. There was something she said after her trip to the Dominican Republic that really bothered me, and I knew it agitated me but I couldn't really put my finger on it exactly. All she said was, "And this woman, I liked her the best, she was SO grateful." Which is okay to say...I guess. But the fact was that she and her parents went down there as some sort of charity thing. They do it every year. They have a couple adopted families down there that they send money to and once a year they go there and buy them things and I guess I just find that practice kind of wrong. You know, "let's buy these people who are poor all the things that we can't live without," but they kind of forget that what these people really need to make a difference is education. You know, in truth I would also be "grateful" if someone bought me a pillow or new sheets for my bed or silverware (apparently these people only had (GASP!) one fork in the whole house. But you know, you make do with what you have and adding more doesn't really help (you know except like buying winter coats for people who can't afford them...things people need for survival..). Anyway, I was bothered by her picture show after that, she was standing in a crowd of children passing out candy and the whole time she is saying, "they were SO excited and SO happy to have candy," I am thinking, gee, maybe if you want to make a difference and help people you should have been reading a book to them or passing out flashcards or something. Not shopping and handing out candy. You know? But after a while, I think about this a lot I kind of chilled about the whole thing because people should do what they can do to make the world better. I sit here on my ass and occasionally do nice things for people but really I have done nothing to make the world a better place. I've never even given out candy to poor people.

But then a couple months ago one of the cooks at work made a stupid comment about never voting for a woman for president. It was just an assinine comment and it was pretty much ignored but she went off about it. Told him, "what makes you think men are better than women? Are you better than me? No? I am better than you and I am not scared to say it, look what I've done with my life and look what you've done with yours."

Then I realized that she thinks she is better than everyone else. That HER life path, HER past, present and future should be the model for life.

And honestly, she is a good person, she is a very good person, I think she is just young. So I try not to hate her too much but sometimes I just get really hateful about her. Yesterday was one of those days. Two of her friends came in and it was 10 in the morning and they were wearing clothes that I would probably never be caught dead in but would probably think were cool if I was in a club at 2 in the morning. I'm talking boobs hanging out, glitter, big necklaces, tight pants hair all done up and big...and I said, "where do they think THEY are?" Because come on, WHO gets dressed like that to go to breakfast? We see it on weekends or early mornings sometimes, people who have been out all night. But these girls were freshly washed and ALL DONE UP. And she got mad at me a little, she gave me this look. And it pissed me off. The look. I WAS being catty, yeah...but we make fun of EVERYONE, including friends of people. She said, "they are hippy girls." And I am thinking...UH...hippy girls DO NOT dress like that or is that what we are calling hippies these days?

Anyway, I went in the back and said something like, "GOD, she is such a bitch." And I feel bad about it.

And even though she didn't hear it I still feel bad about it.

And I am just writing right now because I am wasting time. You see...I sent two people to pick up my furniture from my ex boyfriend and I called ex and told him that they would be there between four thirty and five and they just called and said they were leaving and I called ex and told them they would be there in fifteen minutes and he didn't answer OR return my call yet and now I am freaking out that he won't be there to open the warehouse and I am really freaking out. REALLY FREAKING OUT.




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