2005-04-19 - 4:22 a.m.

Perhaps you can tell by the last few entries of mine that I am completely deranged when it comes to shoes. I am very picky. VERY picky. Shoes must be perfect, perfect color, perfect shine or lack of shine, perfect material (I try not to buy leather shoes because you know I don't eat meat because I don't like killing animals and buying leather shoes is killing animals but sometimes I have to (my Danskos) buy leather shoes for the sake of my waitress legs), perfect heels, perfect squishiness...everything must be just right or I am not going to get them. This is why I have been obsessed with getting a pair of black sandals since my honeymoon this last summer when I lost one of my perfect black sandals and have not yet replaced them.

So last night, after searching pages and pages of shoes, AGAIN, I finally gave up and decided that I would make them myself. So I typed in shoe making supplies. I was SERIOUS. Eric will laugh when he reads my e-mail this morning because I sent him a link to what I found. He will laugh because we will see something in the store that I like/want and I will put it down and say, "No, I can't spend that money on that, I can make that." And he thinks this is funny because I say it A LOT and while I COULD make most of what I see, I never, ever do.

ANYWAY...what I found was a shoemaking class, a two day affair, IN LONDON. HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? They give you all the supplies and teach you to make shoes. You make your own pair of shoes. IN LONDON. After that you can buy shoemaking kits if you want to continue. I just want to know the basics you know, after that I could make my own shoes out of anything. Last night I fell asleep thinking about shoes, what shoes I would make, cool material I could use for shoes. How I could carve a perfect mold of my foot into the bed of a shoe. I want to make my own shoes. I want to make my own everything. I want to make my own clothes (and that is goal number three for my stay in Spain, one is to write no matter what happens with it, I will write...number two is to be fluent in Spanish, speaking, reading and writing, before I leave and number three is to learn to make my own clothes. Mostly out of desperation, I can see the perfect clothes in my mind, but I can never find them in the stores.

So yeah.

Last night I got all the cats in except for Bear. I never worry about getting Bear in because he always comes running when I call for him. But last night he didn't come running and after about fifteen minutes I freaked out. I saw a clump of something down the road and I started crying, total panic so I got in my car (because part of my personality is a total preparedness for tradgedy, I will work through the whole situation in my head before actually having to totally deal with it, which is probably why I am so terrified of flying, because I have already worked through the whole crash in my head...anyway, I got in my car instead of walking because I knew that if it was my cat dead in the road I would not be able to walk back to my house even though it was only 100 yards or so away...though why I thought I could drive back I don't know, it just made sense somehow)...anyway, clump was merely a clump. So I drove around the neighborhood looking for him. Three times. I got in my car three times to search for him. Then I sat on my front porch, my back porch, in the middle of the yard calling for him. This went on for an hour and just as I picked up the phone to call Eric (because I was at the end of the line and I was going to burst into tears at any time) that little bastard came crawling out from under the porch, covered in dirt and old leaves. It was terrible. I was in a total tizzy. And because of it I went to bed three hours later than I had wanted to and now I an tired.

And I really need to get ready for work now.


Oh, and why do young kids these days use the word whatever so much? This is what it is like taking a food order for a teenager. "what would you like?"

"Uh, I'll get the number five or whatever."

"How do you like your eggs?"

"Uh, I don't know, what do you call it when the eggs are flipped or whatever?"

"Over easy?"

"Uh, yeah, over easy or whatever."

"And what kind of toast?"

"Uh, french toast? No, oh, toast, do you have white toast or whatever?"


"Uh, okay, I'll have the white toast or whatever."

One of these days I am just going to bring them the "or whatever".


Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

previous - next

Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!