2005-04-15 - 6:13 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I've had entirely too many people feel up my breasts in the last couple days. And now...hopefully they have more than enough information and they can tell me that I am not dying from breast cancer but simply have fibro-cystic breasts and I can get on with it.

Speaking of...I told my mother the other day that I had to have a lump checked and that it wasn't a big deal because I have always had lumpy breasts and she said, "Oh, yeah, I had HUNDREDS of those when I was your age and I wouldn't let them take them out because then I would have NO TITS at all."

And I found that really funny.

My mother is funny.

I need someone to give me about $1000. You see, yesterday I found out that this sale of my home isn't going to happen by the time I leave since the buyers partner backed out and now he needs to get a loan to buy it. He did sign the sales agreement and he did put money down so he WILL buy it...just not in time for me to pay off bills before I go. There are bills I can pay from Spain, on line, when the money comes through. But there are also a lot of bills I cannot pay from there. Bills that are going to be difficult to pay when you are thousands of miles away and don't know how to go to the post office yet. Plus, I need some things before I go, like Abreeva and my facial products and I would have liked to have been able to buy a pair of sandals. I wish my birthday was in May. Because I really want this pair of Dansko shoes, black Arabella. And I really want this nose ring that is $110. And I really want a workable sewing machine (I have one and I would have been a sewing fiend by this point if it had been workable. I never did figure out how to use it because the instructions were typed in really, really small letters and were very vague. It was a cheap sewing machine so I can't complain much...but it did suck that I never had easily read instructions to follow.)And I also really want a gift certificate to the bead shop so I can buy a ton of beads before I go. I have never, not once, seen a bead shop in Europe. I am SURE they exist, they must exist...but I have never seen one.


Last night all I wanted to do was watch a movie. So on my way home I rented Spanglish. And then I went to the gym (for twenty minutes..LOSER) and came home, made a lovely dinner, took a bath, got into jammies and sat down to watch the movie with my lovely dinner in my jammies. So I try to open the movie and DUMBSHIT at that movie place hadn't taken off the security thing. So I can't open the movie. And this made me CRY. So what did I do? I ripped that mother fucker up....I totally went at it with a knife...totally destroyed the case. But I got to watch the movie and that was all I was thinking about. I hurt my finger also, really badly. I have a half black finger nail now because in my attempt to free the movie I was trying to pry it apart and my hand slipped and the plastic came flying back onto the finger that was holding the case and smashed it. And that made me cry too. Anyway, I wrote this note to Blockbuster to attach to the movie when I return it this morning. It starts...Dear Blockbuster. Yesterday I had one of those days, you know the kind of day where you know you are never going to make it without having a breakdown unless you sit on the couch for an hour or two watching a movie in your pajamas....

Vet came through for me and fixed all my papers. I had to literally beg them to do them over...but they did it and they are perfect and at least my cats are ready to go. I think it's funny that my cats are all set to go but I am still sitting here without a visa and without a completed sale of my house...argh.

That's all.


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