2005-04-05 - 4:34 a.m.

So, for the last two days I have been looking desperately for my Burt's Bees concealing cream. I've looked like HELL for the last two days because I use it to cover teh circles under my eyes. Anyway, I've looked high and low for it. I cleaned off counters, I dug through drawers...and I COULD NOT FIND IT. I looked again this morning, through everything, destroyed my house looking for it. And then I was curling my hair and heard something fall on the ground and THERE IT WAS! It must have fallen from the ceiling. It's so weird. I just can't figure it out. I went to bed at five yesterday afternoon. Woke once at eleven and was grateful that it wasn't four yet and I could sleep for another five hours. There's something just plain weird about going to bed at five. But I really needed to do it. I am tired.

So the house is officially sold and I have a feeling that nothing...NOTHING is going to be really finished with this whole move thing until the day I am actually moving. I had wanted everything to be in place BEFORE I moved. I wanted this whole cat move thing totally mapped out and concrete. I wanted my visa in hand. I wanted the money for this house well before I left so I could get things paid off and complete. But as it is turning out...I don't think I will know the entire schedule of cat move or the details about it until the day I am leaving. I doubt very much that my visa will be in Monday (I am going to Chicago Sunday and it would be very convenient if that visa was there)and the guy buying my house wants to close the third week in April. So. The last few days of me being here are going to be BUSY.

I was sitting outside yesterday reading and it felt so good and I was thinking about how it would soon be the middle of May (my favorite time in the world) and I would be outside all the time in the sun and there still wouldn't be bugs or humidity and how I was going to plant this and that and have a BBQ and then I rememebered that I will never have another May here. And I am really quite sad about that. But I also know, yes, yes, I know that being in Spain in May will be better, just different. But better. Yep. Better.



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