2005-03-30 - 9:23 a.m.


Got NOTHING accomplished yesterday. Was SUPPOSED to (in the neat little ordered plan in my mind) go to Chicago…get my visa, pick up cat kennels and come home and be ready to go in less than a month. Instead…NO VISA (it wasn’t ready yet and no telling when it will be ready) and NO KENNELS (because cat guy didn’t ever call me back to tell me if it was okay to come there to pick them up until yesterday afternoon at 2 and by then we were getting ready to come home). So. I am still in limbo about this move. I am reluctant to set a date to move because what if my visa doesn’t come through until the 30th of April and I leave on the 26th and then I have to FLY BACK (NO I WON’T!!!) to get it?

However. We did have a nice dinner with my brother and his fantastic girlfriend. It was a really cool place. While I would like to explore the vegetarian restaurants of Chicago a little more…it was cool to go to this place too. It was a fondue place and it was nice to have something different. And it was a place of really good atmosphere, like I like. There is a restaurant in Paris that I love to go to even though I don’t care for the food. I just like how the place feels inside, I like the experience of the dinner.

And…I also went SHOPPING. In the past week I have paid full price for TWO items of clothing. This is UNPRECEDENTED. I have not paid full price for an item of clothing in probably five years. I spent ONE HUNDRED dollars at HM buying cool clothes yesterday. And while it felt good…and I was excited to have some cool clothes to wear out when I am in Spain…I also still have this pit of guilt in my stomach about it. I’ve purchased $200 worth of clothes in the last week. And I DO need them, I have nothing at all to wear if we go out, which we will. And it’s been a long time since I had new things to wear…but man, $200 could have bought me a lot of other REALLY needed things. Like heat and water.

So now I am home. I took four days off work. To go to Chicago, to get this house cleaned up for inspection, to drive Eric to Detroit to get on a plane. I don’t want to go back to work. I am totally winding down. But I am realizing that as much as I hate work and as much as it totally stresses me out…I kind of need it. The kind of stress work puts on me is an agitated stress. The kind of stress I feel when I don’t work is a panic, unfocused stress. I need that work thing to keep me focused. I guess I will have to learn to deal with not working.

My nerves are completely sizzled. I can actually feel them sizzling. It’s very strange. I feel this actual, tangible need to like coat the ends of my nerves with something. I keep thinking of strands of hair with split ends. That is how my nerves feel. I want some serum I can coat them with to smooth them out.

We stayed at the Palmer House this time in Chicago. Last time we stayed at The Drake. I hate the Drake. I mean, it was cool and historic and opulent…but for the love of god…they just raped you for money and it wasn’t THAT opulent. I would have paid more for the Palmer House than the Drake. The Palmer House had this AWESOME fitness room, a pool, a sauna, a steam room and more cardio equipment than my GYM. And they don’t rape you. At The Drake…if you wanted more coffee for your in room coffee maker you had to pay $1.00 for each serving more that you wanted. I found that ridiculous. Also, if you checked out late they charged you half of the room charge. And if you wanted a bottle of wine in your room (we brought one) you had to pay (we didn’t) a corkage fee of $20. It’s like EVERYTHING was an extra charge. ON TOP of the stupid rate you already paid. Anyway, I hate The Drake and feel like I should write a letter to Hilton and tell them they are doing an injustice to The Drake. Poor Drake.

Husband wants to get his hair cut tomorrow and I need a haircut too. But I just don’t want to make an appointment for us because the last time we both got our hair cut at the same time the people at the salon were like, “oh, it’s so cute that you get your hair cut at the same time.” Like we were having a spa day together or something.

I saw this purse in Chicago that I really want. I should have bought it yesterday. But it was $85. And that is stupid. But now I am just thinking about this purse and how I should have it.

Cleaning now.


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