2005-03-10 - 8:36 p.m.
I have totally stopped believing in fate. Totally.
Because right now I am on glass two of wine...I am feeling quite fuzzy since I haven't had anything to eat since ten this morning...and I wrote an e-mail to Eric saying that I was on edge, because I am, and the mail wouldn't send and instead of giving up and saying that it was fate blocking it because I shouldn't send e-mails when I am drinking, I kept at it until the fucking thing sent...because right now I am just SO FED UP AND DONE WITH THIS SHIT that I really needed that mail to send. FATE is what I make it be. And I want him to know that I am done with this and need to either get there or have him cancel this fucking ridiculous move and come back home. He's going to need to shut the fuck up about the cats. Because I am coming WITH ALL OF THEM, or I am not coming at all. Because I am not doing ONE THING MORE about this move...not losing ONE MORE FUCKING THING. Including him. So he better just accept that I am bringing ALL MY CATS. Because that it is the only thing I am willing to accept right now. Me, six cats and my husband in ONE HOUSE TOGETHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS....THIS MISSING, THIS LACK OF ROUTINE, THIS CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.....ANY FUCKING MORE. I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW. I AM REALLY FUCKING MAD. I COULD PROBABLY KICK THE FUCK OUT OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW IF I HAD ANYTHING LEFT TO KICK THE FUCK OUT OF.
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