DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2005-03-09 - 4:50 a.m.

I was hating my new nose ring for a while. Because I kept ripping it out and that made it hurt. I would rip it out while I was sleeping, I would rip it out when I was washing my face...but I have not ripped it out in five days now and now I am loving it again. I am going to attempt to buy a new one this week, something more my style, and then I will really love it.

I told my boss this week that I didn't want to open at all this week and that I didn't want to be in section four at all this week. And by George, he listened to me. I am finding that while I don't miss section four at all (because it is a really busy section full of old people that think that boiling coffee is cold and who freak out if there is so much as one little tiny smudge of anything remotely sticky on the table)I am finding that I do miss opening. I feel kind of lost on days when I don't open because I didn't have that hour before everyone gets there to get into the mode of work. But all is good. I am getting more time at home this way. And I COULD sleep in a little bit if I really wanted to.

I am a really bad person when it comes to dealing with other people. I DID not go to Chicago last night. I was supposed to. First of all, Tuesday totally sneaked up on me. I was at the gas station yesterday and realized that it wasn't Friday, it was Tuesday. Second, a girl at work wanted to change shifts with me so she could go out for her best friends birthday. And I understood that, especially after my going out the other night and having to work in the morning. Not fun. And third...I really, really need a day off to myself this week and if I had been in Chicago I wouldn't have had a day off. I DO want to get there though because I really want to go see the cut up dead bodies they have on display at the museum right now.

But I didn't go and I know that my brother is laughing his ass off at me because he thinks I am a total loser and I know my aunt must be a little disappointed in me.

And of course...another example of what a loser I am when it comes to other people...I told my best friend from Iowa not to come and visit me last weekend...which was really mean...but I just couldn't do it. I AM ON EDGE HERE PEOPLE. It isn't going to take much to throw me off.

Cleaned the house last night. And I used bleach for the floors and I used a different bleach than I normally use (by the way, I only use bleach once a month because I can't imagine what it does to the environment, but I can't live without it either)and I almost killed myself from vapor and I had to open all my doors up and it was FREEZING in here and I still haven't gotten warm.

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