2005-03-03 - 4:41 a.m.

Yesterday I started cleaning the fuck out of this house in preparation for the ad in the paper on Friday. I know that I am going to get lots of calls and if just this one thing could work out for this trip and I actually sell this damn thing I will be really happy. (note; by this one thing working out I do not mean that I would be okay if the cat thing doesn't work out easily...I am not including the cat thing in the same vein as the house thing because the cat thing is akin to my own survival of this trip)

Anyway, I started in the kithen. I cleaned out cupboards and drawers and then I packed up the rest of the stuff I won't be using and I threw away (oh the things this act brought up in me) my thirteen year old toaster. Then I started on the stove. I am a pig. I know this. I make messes like you wouldn't believe and in my normal world I clean up really well after each mess. Back in the old days I had two cleaning days a week and I would spend five hours each day cleaning the hell out of this house. But that all changed when Boy came around because I no longer had time or energy and things were always go go go. So I would do half assed cleanings. And BOY, did my piggish ways build up. I spent an hour on that stove. I even took the knobs off. So now each time I go into the kitchen I get startled, like the feeling you get when you rearrange a room and when you walk into it without really thinking about it you get kind of muddled in the head. Because I don't recognize my stove anymore. It seems alien because it is so clean.

Friend from Iowa is not totally pissed at me for telling her that it would be best of she didn't come here this weekend. I am grateful for that. I feel like such a bitch about it but I just can't handle that right now. I have to focus. I have to focus. I have to focus.

And...on Tuesday I have to go to Chicago to see my Aunt Jeezus and her new baby. So if best friend were to come here this weekend I would have no time to get this crap in order until next Thursday and that just won't work since this house will be in the paper for only ten days.

Ten days to sell this house.

That is crazy.



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