2005-01-07 - 2:09 p.m.

Dear Husband,

If you ever leave these infernal Baked Doritos right next to the couch, right next to my computer, right in my line of vision again I will have to either kill you or insist that you never buy these evil, tempting, snacky, crispy, delicious stupid ass fucking chips again because I just sat here waiting for my computer to turn on and load and I swear to god I ate like half a bag of those idiotic things and now I am mad and feel like crap and would like to throw up except I don't like to throw up. All I know is that I am totally irritated by these chips right now and they are still sitting right next to me and I just know that I am going to eat more especially because my brother just instant messaged me and now I know I will sit here even longer talking to him and eating these devil chips....

Of course, I am not as irritated by these as I am by the baked Cheetos. Those are PURE snack evil.

Just get them out of here. No more chips. Take them with you when you leave. I hate chips.

Your wife.


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