DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2005-01-03 - 4:32 p.m.

Had a very unnerving incident today in which tears appeared in my eyes before I caught myself being completely irrational.

In the last year I have suddenly started hating Chinese food. Which is very strange because Chinese food used to be my favorite. Also sometime in the last year I have started LIKING the color green, like emerald green, gree. Which is strange because I used to hate green. Also I have started to not like spaghetti, which is odd because that used to be a staple of my diet. And I have started to LIKE (again) chai tea. Which has made my stomach curdle for the last three years just by thinking of it.

So today when I was eating a banana and suddenly found that I was making a horrible, disgusted look and almost gagging the banana down because I suddenly became a person that doesn't like bananas...I immediately went through my head how many things have recently come onto my list of things I hate that I used to love and I got TEARS in my eyes because I thought to myself in a panic..."OH HOLY FUCK, WHAT IF I WAKE UP ONE DAY AND I HATE COFFEE???" I LOVE COFFEE, WHAT IF I HATE IT???" And I seriously had this big gloppy tear in my eye.

Been doing a whole lotta nothing lately.

Plan to continue that until the very last possible moment.

Boy is here, Boy is nice. I like Boy...OH HOLY FUCK WHAT IF I WAKE UP ONE DAY AND I DON'T LIKE BOY ANYMORE??? I LOVE BOY, WHAT IF I HATE HIM?????

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