2004-11-25 - 6:43 a.m.

So the other day I called the Chicago diner to see if I could somehow sneak a reservation in. I've worked in restaurants long enough to know that sometimes if someone calls at the exact right moment and talks to the exact right person they can somehow sneak past all those people on a waiting list. So I just gave it a go. I was unable to procure a spot in the reservation book, but the guy said he would put me on the waiting list. Since my brother had already put us on this waiting list there was no reason for me to put us down again...but I didn't want this guy to know that I was trying to sneak my way in so I had to act like I wanted to be put on the waiting list. Then came the problem of not knowing which name Zach had used when putting us on the waiting list. Because he has a different last name than my mother and me. (because my mother decided long ago that she would always keep her maiden name and any girl child would get her name, any boy child would get the father's last name.) SO...I figured it was safest to not use either name for fear that the guy would realize that I was trying to sneak in if he saw the same last name already on the I used Eric's last name. For a moment I became Whisper Eric's last name. And I freaked out. It felt totally alien. I got this weird feeling that I needed to explain to this guy that Eric's last name wasn't really my name...(but of course I couldn't do that because I was being sneaky). I hated that I suddenly became someone else. You can call me Eric's wife...but I cannot ever be Whisper Eric's last name.

I just don't understand how people can change their names so easily. I really don't get it. It's as though women just wait and wait until they get married to suddenly have a permanent identity. I think that is ridiculous. And then you get this thing that happens when women get divorced...and have children. And as much as they don't want to belong to that name any longer they have to keep it for "the children's sake." So they no longer have a real identity. Or they get divorced and change their name BACK to their original name and then get married again and become someone else. It's just terribly confusing to me and it must be confusing to them as well. I mean, it takes getting used to a new name on someone. Like when girls at work get married. For as long as I have known Jenn we have called her Jenny Mac...and then she got married and her last name was no longer her last name so Jenny Mac was just wrong and we were all muddled and confused and her new last name just never really took and we still call her Jenny Mac because that was who she was. Or you know, when someone says, "Oh, I know you, you went to school with a friend of mine, Kristy Collins?" And I have no idea who Kristy Collins is because I only knew a Kristy it takes forever to figure out who they are talking about and you have to go through all this..."does she have dark hair and walk with kind of a limp?" It just makes so much more mother is a just keep the names the same. Always. You can get married and have children and everything works out just fine with the girls getting the mothers last name and the boys having the fathers...

But then you get people like my friend Nicole who says, "but that's kind of sad, I mean, when the kids go to school no one knows they are related." And I jsut have to say that my brother and I were known as brother and sister and we had different last names. And besides, who gives a fuck about school? What really matters in life is AFTER school and people become adults and anyway...if your girl child gets married she will no longer have the same last name HOW WOULD THEY EVEN KNOW THEY ARE RELATED? HELLO?

So then you get into the hyphenation thing...which is even dumber in my opinion. Not because it isn't cool that you want to keep your last name and somehow honor your husbands name as well..but it's only cool if the husband does the same thing. And even then I still wouldn't have done that because who wants a name that is 500 letters long? And then when your kids get married do they then hyphenate their already hyphenated names?

I always go for the simplest way around things...Ockhams's razor thing...and keeping my last name, never changing a thing about it, is definately the easiest way. No matter what.


It's seven in the morning. I've been up for three hours now. Just waiting for the sun to rise so I can go for a stupid walk before we leave for Chicago. Where the fuck is the sun? How do I not know when the sun rises...I am always up at this time of the day, how could I not notice the sun rise?

Cleaned my house this morning. Been waiting patiently for the cats to get off the bed so I can make it. It will be nice to come home to a clean house tonight.

I felt very thin this morning when I woke up. Then I realized that I didn't eat anything at yesterday. Which is strange. Then I remembered that every year at this time I forget to eat. I don't know what is up with that.


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