2004-11-15 - 4:44 a.m.

I just realized that in a couple weeks I am going to have a birthday. That is insane to me.

If it wasn't for the fact that time is SPEEDING by at warp speed I would be really freaked out by the thought of Eric not being home until Christmas. If time keeps going this fast that should seem like nothing to me.

I need a massage. Really, really badly. But I totally don't want to waste the money on one because I have never gotten a good massage except for when I was in school for massage. First of all, my teacher was magical with her hands (she was a bitch and she really pissed me off but she certainly knew what she was doing when it came to massage) and second...the students were even fantastic in the beginning because they hadn't gotten all brainwashed by energy fields and mumbo jumbo (which has no place in massage for an actual muscle ache). In the beginning they would just dig right in there...towards the end they all started assuming that classic massage therapist way of just lightly going over the body and stopping at certain points for several minutes to "get the energy flowing." It's bullshit. I need some he-man or woman to just dig into my fucking shoulder and physically untie the knot. I don't want any mind intention untying the knot. I want actual force from actual hands to untie the knot.

Because it hurts.


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