2004-10-22 - 8:31 p.m.

So...EVERYTHING is ready to go to Spain...I mean, EVERYTHING, except the BIG thing, which is selling this house.

Got rid of stray cat.

Smudge, after $200 of tests, finally got an okay to fly. Although, he has to be on heart medication now for the rest of his life.

Stuff is pretty much moved out and packed. Really I could leave tomorrow if need be.

But I have to sell this house because I have to pay my back taxes and some other bills I have incurred during these last two years of missing a third of my income due to travel and the cost of travel itself. I cannot leave until I sell this house unless I can somehow come up with $8000.

So I am in panic mode.

In other news. I went to the dentist yesterday. First time in seven years. I have NO cavities. I was shocked. But I do have a cracked tooth where the filling started to deteriorate and is leaking...yes, leaking...which would explain the metal taste I get sometimes. I get to get it fixed in a couple weeks with one of those tooth colored fillings. I am very excited.

Also went to the gynocologist...I have to say that I am very disappointed in our health care here. Maybe everywhere it is like this...but I am seriously NOT looking for medicines to cover up the burning pitchfork cramps I get or the muscle spasms that leave me completely immobilized for 24 hours. I want to know WHY and WHERE it is coming from. I thought that going someplace other than Planned Parenthood for my female care would be good, because they might try to get to the bottom of it. But once again, I was given a prescription for some NSAID. Which DOES help. But I don't want HELP, I want it fixed, for good. Since I am not getting any answers, at least not the answers I want, I am going to go to the other extreme and start with some new age crap that might help me more. I picked up some information in breath therapy today. I am totally fascinated with breath therapy.

Dinner with my grandparents tonight. They gave me $500 for my wedding. They are very sweet. Sometimes I am sad that I didn't have them growing up. I had my mothers parents, who were wonderful grandparents, but they died so early in my life. And my dad's parents never really accepted me since I wasn't his biological daughter so they just kind of ignore me. But these grandparents are awesome. They are exactly the kind of grandparents everyone would want. And they are in their eighties and still VERY healthy. I mean, VERY healthy. They are going to Rio de Janeiro in February because that is the last place they have to go and they have seen the world. They are very cool.

I amvery boring lately.

I can't wait to get my life back.

One week ago Lucy died. I didn't expect to be so devastated by her death. But I have dreamed of her every single night since she died. And every time I walk by her grave or think about how she looked as they were injecting her with death I start crying. I am still very certain that I will never have another pet.

The best smell in the world? AIRS aroma wands Russian Amber. I don't even light them, I just smell them. I love them.

Good night.


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