2004-10-12 - 10:21 a.m.

I just don't know what is wrong with me. I have SO much to do right now...packing, painting, fixing...and all I can, and do, do is sleep. Yesterday I took another marathon nap, woke up, painted a wall, ate dinner, watched Seinfeld and then went back to bed for another twelve hours.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am totally depressed. I was so optimistic about life when I was in France and Spain last week. It seemed to me that nothing could possibly go wrong and delay my move. It seemed that everything was perfect and right and life from that point on was going to be nothing but sunshine and happiness. Then I returned to my job. And hear these comments.

"So, did that guy get a brain yet and divorce you because he can't live with cats?"

"Ah, yes, I can see that you are getting into this marriage thing, you look like you've put on some pounds" (which I haven't, in fact, since I got married in July I have lost five pounds.)

"You'll never sell your house, no one is buying houses anymore."

"You look really pale, are you sick? You need to get some sun." (never mind that I just got back from Spain and spent days in the sun getting TAN, I have fucking tan lines.)

"You will never sell your house if you have cats, nothing gets to smell of cat out of a house." (this from someone who has never been to my house)

"Europeans hate us, you'll never make it there."

"The only reason you are so happily married is because you live across an ocean from your husband, things will change when you live together."

Just bringing me down.

I hate people.

On the other hand...the people I work with are very optimistic for me. I appreciate that.

Must go paint now.


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