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2004-08-28 - 5:52 a.m.
I had a dream last night in which that stupid mother cat that I had to dispel from my house was sleeping on my chest and purring. I woke up instantly thinking that now would be a great time to put flea stuff on her so she could stay in the house until I can get her fixed and to a new living area. So, in a half dream state I grabbed her only to find that it was my cat Bear. Then I got up to go to the bathroom and it was just starting to thunder and lightning and that stupid mother cat was sitting at my back door looking in with panic. I tried to ignore her. Went to the bathroom and decided that I just couldn't leave her out there so I went to the door to let her in and she was gone. I can't handle this. I have to do something right by that cat. People tell me I did do right, I didn't kick her out when she had kittens in here. I fed them all, took care of them all, found the kittens a good home. And I would have taken her in to get her fixed, I would have treated the fleas she has. But I can't get near her. I can't even get within five feet of her. But I didn't do right by all that, because I never should have let her stay in here in the first place. I should have ignored her all winter when she was cold and hungry. I never should have let her in. Ever. This world is just too painful to live in. It is no wonder I have withdrawn as much as I have. Talking Girl at work is going to Vegas in a couple weeks. She talks about it frequently. All the time really. But she pronounces Vegas as though she is saying Veggas. Like egg with a V and an as. Veggas. It annoys me. But them I started thinking about it and why shouldn't it be pronounced that way? I'm still annoyed...but I have to get over it because there are no rules for pronunciation in this language, I swear. Like the word entranced (as in mystified) is the same as entranced (as in making an entrance) but they are spelled the same. I am going to be late for work on purpose this morning. From 7-8 on Saturday I never get a table when I am in the section I am in today. It is pointless to be there. So normally at this time, fifteen minutes before I have to leave I am rushing around. But today I just don't care. Today I am taking my time. I know I will be ten minutes late and I just don't care. Okay, maybe I do, I better get off line. |
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