2004-08-15 - 6:59 p.m.

I am eating one of my famous salads right now. My husband raves about my salads. Anyone that has ever had one of my salads raves about my salads. The same is true of my mushrooms, people rave about my mushrooms. I like having my food raved about. What bothers me is that both of my famous foods, the foods that people would really miss if I no longer existed are foods that other people showed me how to make. Neither thing has a recipe per se...but they both have techniques that I learned. Techniques that make or break the ultimate turn out. For instance, the have to first cut up the celery, carrots, black olives and cucumber, then lightly salt them and then you have to cut the tomato directly in the bowl (to retain all the juice) and then you have to drizzle with olive oil and then add avocado and then mix it all together kind of roughly to get all the juices mingling and then you let it sit for a little while. Then you add the lettuce, once again drizzling with olive oil and some salt and some cracked pepeer, then you mix it, let it sit again for about five minutes so the lettuce softens just a bit and then you add the La Cantina dressing (which you can only buy here)...and then you have the best salad you will every have. But if you make it without letting things sit you don't get the same effect. It's kind of the same thing with the mushrooms, though with those the key is to cook them at a very low heat for a really long time so the juices come out and are then reabsorbed all garlic and butter infused.

I tell you all this because I am a little upset that both of my famous foods, my only famous foods, are someone else's foods. I learned them. I need my own food. My super patties that I make are really good because they are basically a perfect food, but there isn't a taste explosion or anything, they are just really healthy. Anyway, my goal is to make a food that has been undiscovered by anyone, to make my own method that I can teach someone else.

Eric just left a little while ago. I am doing my typical routine thing...get a glass of whatever wine is left over and making lists of everything I have neglected during his stay that I need to get done. I will be so glad when this whole thing is over and he and I are together and I no longer have two dueling lives going on.

It was cool today when he left...I remembered all those other departures, how sad they were, all those departures where I was left wondering what was going to when he left I was excited, excited because this is going to be one of the last departures we will have, excited because there is a future, excited because I was saying goodbye to my husband, not my boyfriend, my husband.

It's been funny telling people I am married. Most people didn't even have any idea I was engaged. They see my ring and say, " got engaged," and I say, "Nope, I got married," and they say, "I didn't even know you were engaged," and I smile...because this is exactly how I would have dreamed about doing things. An engagement that wasn't all ornate and male was a mutual decision...and then a quick marriage right after.

People are being really stupid about the sign in front of the restaurant. It says, "congrats Whisper and Eric. Married with cats!" Everyone looks at that sign in confusion. They just can't figure it out. The hostess says if one more person asks her what that means she is going to rip their throats out. Someone the other day said, "Married with cats? Does that mean they got married at the show CATS?" Oh my god, how difficult is it to figure out?


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