2004-07-13 - 9:07 p.m.


So maybe the whole wedding plan thing has changed. Maybe now instead of going to Sleeping Bear Dunes to get married we will get married in Eric’s cousins backyard, as the blue moon rises, with candles and lights and people surrounding us. It is sounding much better. And maybe I can buy a real wedding dress, something pretty, flowing, moonlike. Maybe now it will be fifty people instead of 8 people. Maybe now my best friend from Iowa will be there. I am pretty sure this idea sounds better to me, feels more real, than the Sleeping Bear thing. Because that way was going to be expensive. That way was going to be chaotic. That way I couldn’t get married as the moon rose, my blue moon, because the parks close around sunset. This way is seeming much better.

Thank you Kelsi for your words in your entry today. Even though I don’t know you, thinking about you at my wedding and thinking about your good thoughts towards me and my cake made me a little teary eyed. As silly as this whole diary world may seem, you do find people that touch your life somehow, it is interesting to see people grow and in some ways sometimes you seem to know people (even if you have never met them or even exchanged a word) on this site better than you know the people in your everyday life. So while you are escaping crazy stalker guy, come to Michigan, come to my wedding. Cry. We will have lots of wine too.

So…on another note….the other day at work a girl (the talker) said, “My friend blah blah wouldn’t go to Davenport College because he couldn’t bear the thought of going to a school that was called the same thing as a carport.” And I looked at her and said, “A carport IS NOT called a davenport.” But she insisted and then my friend Kathy agreed with her and I got agitated. So I came home and looked up davenport in five dictionaries and no where does it say that davenport can mean carport. BUT….it seems to me that a carport does indeed have another, old fashioned, name like a couch is called a davenport by older people. But I cannot think of it. All that is coming to me is that it starts with an S and seems to be like a last name. Something like a steadman or something like that. I have e-mailed everyone on my e-mail list and they are coming up with names like portico, car shed, shanty…not what I am thinking of…what I am thinking of is something like a last name or something. So if anyone has any idea…please tell me because I am going insane trying to think of it.

Speaking of silly girls at work…the other day one of the newer girls who was doing her sidework came up to me holding a bag that said in bold letters…HOT CHOCOLATE MIX, and she said, “Is this the hot chocolate mix?” That cracked me up. Until I got reprimanded with a “Whisper, you cannot make fun of the new girls.”

I rented a storage space the other day. I am beginning to move all this SHIT into it in order to clear my house out enough to actually get some work done around here. So far I have boxed up ten boxes of books and I am not even close to getting them all stored. I may have to get rid of some books. That makes me sad. Also…I was SUPPOSED to get my furniture out of the warehouse where it has been for the last six years, the warehouse that happens to belong to my ex boyfriend. There is no way I should have left it there that long. I didn’t remember WHY I had kept it there that long. It was really shitty of me to keep it there that long. But then I remembered that before when I was trying to get some closure with him it was so stressful, so ridiculous that I just gave up and for the last three years have just been sitting here periodically thinking that I really need to get that stuff back. Anyway, my friend Kathy and her husband were supposed to go get it tonight…and then she called and said they couldn’t do it until Thursday, which really sucks for numerous reasons…one because I came home and wasted two hours napping thinking that I would be up late, and two, because I just want it over. But whatever…I understand. Now I won’t be able to fall asleep and all I want to do is go to bed and I will still have to deal with this on Thursday.

Tomorrow I am packing more stuff, laying in the sun, maybe going to a beach if I get around to it, doing laundry, figuring out the details of this wedding and delegating tasks to people (even though I really can’t think of what needs to be done, if anything) and going to the vet to figure out what I need to do for these cats to get them to Spain. Thursday I have to get that stuff in storage, go shopping for a dress, and then go to a stupid going away party for a girl I work with who is moving to Australia on Friday. I am sad she is going away, but I don’t like parties. Friday I am getting my marriage license and packing, packing, packing. Saturday I am packing, packing, packing and trying to organize things for Eric’s arrival so I don’t have to run around like a crazy person trying to get ready for everything…in fact, I will be doing that until the day he arrives. He gets here Wednesday night, Thursday I work, Friday we leave for New York, Saturday we have to go to a wedding, Sunday we drive home, Monday through Thursday I work, Friday Nicole arrives and we have to cook a bunch of food, Saturday I get married, Sunday we leave for Ellsworth and our restaurant, Monday we come back, Tuesday I work and that whole week we will be working on my house, then Eric leaves and I put the house on the market and we wait….CRAZY times coming up. CRAZY. Maybe tomorrow I better just chill. I can already feel my body is giving up and I feel like shit. I am such a wimp.


Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

previous - next

Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!