DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2004-06-20 - 7:49 p.m.

You know itís going to be a bad day at work when half the wait staff shows up ten to fifteen minutes late and there was a line at the door to begin with and the half of the wait staff that was late is totally hung-over and/or still drunk and heading towards the hashbrowns as though they are the only thing on earth that will save their lives. Not to mention some stupid soccer tournament is going on and stupid fucking soccer parents have no regard for humans in general and think that they can just show up in groups of thirty without callingÖAND itís Fatherís day and you have to wait on a bunch of dysfunctional families who are glaring at one another all wishing they were elsewhere. But itís better than Motherís Day when all the mothers act all queen of the worldish and behave like spoiled children because itís ďtheir day.Ē

Anyway, Iíve spent the better portion of my evening searching for an intensive language course, in Spain. Typically the company would send us to language training in Cincinnati, but I donít and canít do that because it is a two week course and I donít have two weeks to spare because I want to work as much as possible since it will be a long time until I can work again and I also have a house to sell, pack and leave. Not to mention all the other various things it requires to uproot oneself from eleven years of rooting. Things to store, things to sell, things to give away. Accounts to cancel, things to stock up on (like Abreva and Carmex, shampoo and toothpaste) that I canít get in Europe. Cats to take care of (shots and travel certificates, not to mention getting the spiffed up from their mangy selves so the Spanish cutoms people donít think they are disease ridden varmints). I have people to see, people to call, weddings to go to, weddings to be inÖNOT TO MENTION my own wedding. There is just too muchÖwould be much better to take those classes once I get there and have nothing to do except settle in and learn about life in Spain. Plus, going to a class in Spain would force me to GO OUT in Spain which is not something I am likely to do without reason. I think it would be best to START OUT having to go out. Would be best to immediately have to start taking trains and learning to city of Barcelona. Otherwise I am likely to stay in Vilanova and only wander about a square mile for the next couple years. So if anyone happens to know of a good, intensive language school in Barcelona, let me know.

I am really, really, really hoping that we are going to be living in Spain. I REALLY hope this all pans out. REALLY. Not just because I want to live in Spain because honestly I could live anywhere right now, except where I amÖ.but if this pans out that means I will be living with Eric and that is ALL I want. I REALLY want to start my life WITH him. I donít want to wait another year. And I especially hope this all pans out because now I have pretty much made myself sure that in four months I WILL be with him. And if that doesnít happen I am going to be devastated. I just find it hard to believe that it wonít happen.

I have Tuesday off. I pray that the weather is nice, perfect and wonderful. I pray that no one knocks on my door on Tuesday. I pray that everything goes according to perfect day off plan. I almost cried today because I was scheduled for seven days this week and then someone who couldnít work suddenly could work and I got a day off. That is good.

Going to bed now.

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