DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2004-03-27 - 5:36 a.m.

I am a little agitated by my visit to Planned Parenthood the other day. First, they LOST my chart. My ten+ years of medical information is gone. Just like that. Gone. In some ways it is nice to start over again and since I didnít have anything terrible in there that needs to be recorded, it isnít detrimental that this chart is lost. Itís just that I like having charts. I like big, thick files. And now my chart consists of two or three pages.

And, the whole reason I was suddenly in such a hurry to get there was because of the cramps I suffer every month. A year ago they were okay because it didnít happen every month. Now it is clockwork. I wanted someone to tell me what it could be, I wanted someone to sit down with me and go over everything. When I brought it up, because the doctor/nurse or whatever they are, seemed to be ignoring the fact that I had written HORRIBLE, DEBILITATING CRAMPS under the concerns part of my form, I was told in kind of a brush off way to take 800 milligrams of Motrin. And when I said that pain killers donít touch the cramps she told me to start taking it two days before my period, four days total. And when I told her I was rather against masking symptoms, would rather fix the problem where it stems rather than hide it, she told me to just try it. When I asked what it could be, not what it is, but what it could be that sends me into the fetal position crying my eyes out for 12-24 hours every month she simply said, ďbad cramps.Ē

So. I guess I need to get health insurance so I can start being taken care of like a normal person. Planned Parenthood is good. I will not say it is bad. But I guess it should not be a place where you can expect to get everything taken care of.

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I love it when it gets to this time. When there are just days between the Whisper who hasnít seen her boyfriend in a month and a half and the Whisper that will be sweeping out of the doors at Charles DeGaulle into her boyfriends waiting arms. I love it when I can say, ďthis is my last Saturday at work before I see my boyfriend.Ē I love it when I can say, ďA week from this very moment I will probably be snuggled up with my boyfriend on the couch.Ē

That evil girl that came back a month or two ago to torment me has managed to piss off every single one of my fellow employees and everyone is begging me not to leave because if I stay she wonít have any shifts to pick up. It was fortuitous, though terribly annoying and miserable, that she came back because she will be able to happily pick up all my shifts while I am gone. Usually what happens when I leave is that a lot of the girls end up working seven days a week and by the time I get back they are all completely strung out. It will be nice to have someone there who really wants those shifts. And it is somehow vindicating to me that everyone despises evil girl now. She is one of those people who everyone loves at first. The kind of person who makes people think that I am insane for hating. I knew it was just a matter of time. Someone actually said to me the other day, ďYou were totally right.Ē

A week from this very moment I will probably be in the kitchen busy and happy making breakfast and fresh juice. Boy will be padding back and forth from the computer to me. I love it when Boy pads back and forth. The sound of his feet on the floor is very comforting to me. I smile whenever I hear his feet padding across the floor. It is just another reason that I insist on having hardwood floors for the rest of my life. I canít hear his feet padding across the floor in my house because I have mostly carpet.

I must go to work now.

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