DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2003-08-11 - 5:31 p.m.

So, after months and months of desperate wanting, I finally got a juicer (thanks to my friend Kathy who very kindly offered me her mothers unused, unwanted juicer) and now I am obsessed, possessed, enthralled and otherwise beside myself with happiness over this juicer. Iíve made all kinds in the three days I have had it. Tomato, celery, carrot and a mixture of the three. Pear, cherry, plum, strawberry, blueberry, mango, cantaloupe, watermelon and various mixtures of all those. Every day I am even more excited than usual to get off work and get home (Iím always excited because I get to see my cats, but now I have the cats AND the juicer waiting for me!!!)

So today was not unlike any of the previous three days. I couldnít wait to get home and make juice. But, I had run out of things from which to extract juice so a run to the grocery store (Meijer for those of you familiar with that fantastic chain of stores). So, on my way through downtown, coming from the gym and down to Westnedge, there was a storm lurking. You could see the line in the sky where it had not yet devoured the blue and where it was currently tempesting. I was driving away from it, being pursued by it. An evil storm in my rear view mirror and sunshine out the windshield. It didnít occur to me that I couldnít exactly escape the storm, no, me with my brain full of only ideas for wonderful juice was actually laughing at the poor people behind me that were in the throes of the storm I, for some reason, thought I was escaping. And there I am, merrily parking a million miles from the store, as is my habit for extra exercise, traipsing slowly along to pavement while the storm sneaked its way across the sky. The first drop hit me just as I was getting the entrance. Then my body shook from the thunder. Then I bolted into the store. I quickly picked out all the fruit I needed and then had to go to the back of the store for cream (for coffee, not juice). Just as I got all the way to the back of the store the electricity went out. Every single person in the store gasped at once. Meijer is a huge store, for those of you who arenít familiar with it. Huge. Anyway, you could tell everyone was a little panicked and then the lights went back on, as well as some really annoying buzzer. And the rain was pelting the store so loudly that you could barely hear anything else. And the registers were down so I couldnít leave even if I wanted to brave the storm. So I wandered. And then I started panicking. My thought? Yeah, I was freaking out because if I didnít hurry home the storm would get to my house and as it invariably happens, would knock out my electricity and I wouldnít be able to have juice. OH HORROR!! So I stood there staring at the cashiers while they waited for someone to reset everything. Finally I could get out of there. The rain was still blinding, like a sheet, you couldnít even see out the doors. But I didnít care, I plunged into river of pansy asses that were waiting for the rain to let up to go to their cars and I headed into the storm with my fruit. A few brave souls followed me; we were eaten alive by the storm. Drenched with sky blood, hair on end from the lightning, bones rattled and bruised from the thunder. Okay, so it wasnít THAT bad, but it was bad enough. So I rush home as fast as I could in that kind of rain and before I even took my bag off my shoulder, checked my messages, mail or said hello to my cats I was making juice just in case the electricity should go out. And I had my juice darn it! And it was GOOD juice too. Yummy. I love juice.

And then I got stung three times ON THE HAND by bees. Stupid bees. I would like to juice them too. Fuckers.

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