DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2003-07-08 - 9:27 p.m.

In addition to the decision to post a Stupid Customer of the Week award every Sunday (or whenever I get around to it), I have also decided that I am going to start updating this diary daily. Why? I don't know.

So.

This is what they do. I don't hear from them for years, only if I happen to call them on holidays, then I might actually talk to them. Then, my father decides to grace us with his presence and all of a sudden they remember...oh dear, I have a granddaughter/niece whatever that I have totally forgotten about, I should call her...and then all of a sudden my grandparents are on my answering machine begging me to go to dinner, my uncle is calling begging me to come over and show him how well I have learned to play my guitar (he bought it for me over three years ago). They are so fucked up. Not to mention the whole father gracing us with his presence crap. He used to make a visit home at least once a year...until they had the twins and his wife's dysfunctional family moved themselves out to Colorado to help with the babies (because God knows a woman who doesn't work and has nothing else to do but roller blade around mountain paths just can't handle having babies by herself). Suddenly, after the in-laws moved out there, after the twins turned one, my Dad never came home again. Why? Because the only reason they ever came home before was to see Julie's parents. So when he told me a couple months ago that they were coming home for a visit I actually felt my heart swell, thinking (for just a moment) that they were actually coming home to see ME. But no....they are only coming home because Julie has a class reunion. Sigh. And I "get" to baby-sit. And I guarantee that the only time I will see my dad on this visit is that night I baby-sit and when I drive myself and Eric up north this weekend to visit them at Julie's dads house. Guaranteed. He pisses me off.

BUT.

I am really excited to see him and almost feel like crying from the relief I feel about being able to see him again.

SO.

I will take what I can get.

And maybe I will let my grandparents take me to dinner.

Because I used to love them.

Good night.

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