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2002-04-05 - 2:43 p.m.
Tonight I am subjecting myself to dinner with my Grandparents. Alone. I usually
prefer to do the dinner thing with them when there is someone else around to shield me
from the inevitable questions they have pertaining to my STILL not having graduated
from college and my STILL being unmarried. I have ulterior motives tonight though.
You see, these are my biological grandparents. This is vastly different from
just being my grandparents. The difference is that I met these biological grandparents only
ten years ago and only five years ago did I start having any sort of interaction with them.
This is because my biological father took off before I was even born and never
bothered to tell anyone about me until he was forced to. That day came when I was
eighteen and I showed up on my grandparents front porch introducing myself as
“William’s bastard child.” To be honest I have little animosity towards the guy or the
situation. I just like to periodically traumatize him because he did ultimately cause me an
injustice by taking off and never even so much as checking on me. The way in which I
traumatize the guy is by making him feel like shit as much as I can. I do this by becoming
fast friends with his brothers and sisters so much so that they will in turn write him
scathing e-mails and phone him on holidays chastising him for being such an asshole. It is
just an added bonus that they do this. I really like my aunts and uncles and with the
introduction of them into my world I have a greater sense of belonging somewhere.
Especially since my physical traits are more inclined towards my paternal biological family
than they are to my maternal biological family. Another way I routinely traumatize the
guy is by giving my grandparents many pictures of myself. They post them throughout
their house and I know when my father visits he sees them, perhaps even asks who the
pictures are of. He would have to ask because he has only seen me twice in my entire life
for a total of not more than an hour. And yet another way I make my presence blatant to
him is by strategically planning dinners with my grandparents on days when I know they
will talk to him. I’m sure when they speak on the phone he will ask what they are doing
and will tell him that they are going to dinner with me. Today is his birthday and I happen
to know that my grandparents call their children and grandchildren on their birthdays.
When they called a few weeks ago to ask me to dinner I told them I was pretty busy until
the fifth of April. Just because I wanted to make sure HE heard them say they were going
to dinner with me. And as usual at the end of our outing I will hug them and say sweetly,
“Tell Bill I said hello and that I would like to see him someday,” with a nonchalance
belonging to someone who doesn’t give a shit that her biological father is an ass.
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