2002-03-27 - 7:51 p.m.

Last night I went downtown to meet some friends for drinks. And I wore my glasses. I don't typically wear my glasses anywhere but in my car and at the movies, so wearing them while walking was something new to me. The bar I was meeting them at has a wall of windows and as you walk down the sidewalk to the front door you can usually see your party inside. Which I did. So I started to get a little closer to the window so I could make a face at them and because of my impaired vision due to being ABLE to see and not being used to that my head went KA-THUNK against the plate glass and the entire bar whipped around to see what huge bird had just flown into the window. Strangely I wasn't embarrassed about the incident.

I realized last night that it has been a very long time since I have had a sit down conversation with anyone intelligent. It's been a long time since I've had a conversation that doesn't leave me feeling like I'm smack dab in the middle of an Oprah set. The only real social interaction I get in my life anymore is talking with my fellow waitresses in the back and a few hurried exchanges with customers. It's almost hard for me to sit down and talk now. I was fidgiting the whole time. At least now I remember how good it feels, how revitalizing it is to just talk to people about things of interest, and to sit down while doing it. I think I'm going to have to stop hanging out in the waiters aisle at work because if I hear one more sentence that starts with, "My boyfriend (husband or fiancee)." Why must most girls talk non-stop about their significant other?

Today is the first day in about five months that my ENTIRE house is clean. Not just one or two rooms, the WHOLE DAMN HOUSE. I am considering throwing everything I have out. There is this need for me right now to start with clean, fresh things. Not because I want to start over or anything, but because I want to start keeping my house spotless and there have just been too many years of my being kind of sloppy embedded in all my possesions. You know, like how hard it is to keep an old house clean because dirt is just inherent...I want new stuff.

I have absolutely nothing to say...I just needed something to do.

I'm going to bed.


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