2002-02-19 - 7:22 p.m.
At the grocery store today while feeling up the produce, I wondered how many women thought about sex when they were picking out cucumbers? And for that matter, how many men thought about women thinking about sex when they are picking out cucumbers? I could just invision some seemingly ordinary housewife bouncing over to the cucumber bin as though it were a giant basket of really cheap dildos. And she's thinking to herself, "Wow, this is better than the adult toy store! So many different sizes, shapes and lengths, and WOW! Look at the price! I can get TWO for just a dollar!"
It just makes sense that EVERY woman probably starts thinking about sex, thinking naughty thoughts about cucumbers while grocery shopping. And it makes sense that every man would pick up a cucumber and wonder about the women.
So, there I am, standing with a cucumber in my hand, laughing and kind of blushing when this guy walks by and kind of smirks at me. Like, "I know what you're thinking lady, want some help?"
Then I got disgusted because my imagination went whacko and I started imagining women in the factories that ship the cucumbers taking one of these enticing little vegetables off the conveyer belts and slipping into the bathroom with it on her break. Needless to say, I bought no cucumbers today. I did however buy cucumber seeds and I plan to plant my own tonight. I love cucumbers, I mean, I love to EAT cucumbers but I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to buy them from the store again.
I am adding to this entry right now, just wanted to note that I just got an IM from one of my dearest friends...he says, "Uh, I never thought of such things when buying veggies you goof." So I guess I might the only one who stands around the produce aisle with a sheepish grin on my face and a super size cucumber.
Oh, and by the way... At exactly 8:02 p.m. on February 20, there will be a historic moment in time.
It will not be marked by the chiming of any clocks or the ringing of bells, or probably any other fanfare. But at that precise time, something will happen which has not occurred for 1,001 years and will never happen again.
As the clock ticks over from 8:01 p.m. on Wednesday, February 20, time will, for sixty seconds only, read in perfect symmetry: 2002, 2002, 2002, or to be more precise --- 20:02, 20/02, 2002 (using the 2400 hour clock, the month/date, and the current year).
The last time there was such a symmetrical pattern, it was long before the days of the digital watch and the 24-hour clock. The last occurrence was at 10:01a.m. on January 10, 1001. Because the clock only goes up to 23:59, this mathematical symmetry is something that will never happen again.|
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