DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2002-01-16 - 10:04 a.m.

One of my biggest problems is that I always feel the need to defend myself. I take everything personally and until I have properly taken a stand and released those inner demons, I walk around with a gnawing pit in my stomach.

This morning I woke up at 4:30 so I could have a few hours of quiet before the old people got up and started making their noises. I was perusing diaries and having a grand old time until I got to turtleguys latest entry. Stop now and read that entry, then return here and read my response��

Okay. Good. Turtleguy, get your red pen out because I�m going off on an UNEDITED tangent of my own.

My first reaction was to immediately return to my diary and type in an entry that read��

�I am not going to update my diary until I am back at home with my comfortable keyboard and dictionary. I don�t want to be responsible for sending turtleguy on another tangent.�

I quickly deleted that entry because I realized I was allowing someone to make me feel inadequate, that instead of cowering in my guilty little corner I should allow myself the luxury of letting my thoughts on the matter out.

I know I am guilty of proclaiming my designs on literary success and I also know I am guilty more often than a lot of my fellow diarylanders of spelling words wrong, using incorrect grammar and simply making sentences that don�t flow. I hardly ever go back and read my entries right after writing them so I never see the spelling discrepancies until days later. I could use another program to write my entries, one that has spell check, but I just don�t. I sign on and write something. Plain and simple. I don�t really want to justify the reasons for my less than perfect entries, and there are plenty of reasons for them; first and foremost being that I just don�t give a shit, if you want to read my diary, read it, if you don�t like it, don�t freakin' read it.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people that walk around and preach about proper spelling and grammar. If our language were one that actually adhered to language and grammatical rules I wouldn�t have such a problem with it. The truth of the matter is that our language evolves, it changes as people change. If I say, �I ain�t gonna do that�, my point gets across doesn�t it? So why does it matter how I say it? If I wrote, �I no you aren�t going to do that�, you still get the point even though I used an incorrect form of know. I do agree with turtleguy when he points out that coming across a misspelled word makes the reader pause and have to think about what the writer is saying and thus takes away the flow of writing and makes it harder to read. Here�s the thing though. This is not a literary contest. If it were I would spend hours re-writing and editing my entries like I did for the work I actually DID submit to a literary award and by the way WON. This is an on-line diary for chrissakes. I don�t recall being paid to write this stuff, I don�t recall being hired to write this stuff. This is for fun and I really don�t want to feel compelled to turn this into a job. This is to fill a gap in time, to escape for a moment. Don�t judge your fellow diarylanders for their inadequacies. Don't judge them and make assumptions about their level of skill based on their diaries.

If I wrote and had a book published that was full of spelling and grammatical errors then I would understand someone complaining about it. My advice would be to NOT BUY THE BOOK. No one is forcing anyone to read a book unless you are in school and I highly doubt a school would force you to read a book that was full of errors. Which leads me to this. A writer conveys to its readers a story. Within that story the writer has folded ideas. A writer does NOT sit down to write something and focus on the spelling of things or the proper grammatical forming of sentences. A writer focuses on the story, getting the thought across. The editing of the actual structure comes much later in the process. That comes after at least two drafts are done. That comes finally when it is sitting in front of an editor. If this site was full of editors I would understand turtleguys disdain, but this site is full of writers. People that write in order to convey a thought, not people that are writing in order to produce a flawless copy. Turtleguy writes this�.

***I�m not referring to those who keep online journals merely for fun, or for communication, or for the documentation of events and the sorting out of personal feelings; those folks are free to write as informally as they please.***

I have to wonder who is writing on this site for anything more than those reasons he listed above as being excluded from his rant? This is a DIARY. Is there really anyone out there that is writing with the hopes of one day getting their diary published? Is there anyone out there that is planning to retire from the profits gained from writing in diaryland?

And the last thing turtleguy wrote that I will address is this�..

*** People want to be encouraged in their literary ambitions, but the unfortunate fact of the matter is that writing something good enough to be published isn�t easy, it�s fucking hard, and there is a shitload of drudgery involved. That�s just the truth, and it pains me to see so many people who are setting themselves up for disappointment by being unrealistic about that.***

Turtleguy has just proven my own point when he states that writing something good enough to be published isn�t easy and that there is a lot of drudgery involved. So yes, turtleguy, writing something of quality is painstaking, it is fucking hard. And perhaps that�s why those of us who do have literary aspirations write drivel in our diaries, why we don�t check the spelling of words. We are too damn busy editing the things we are actually submitting for publication elsewhere. The thought of people having unrealistic ambition shouldn�t pain you because the people that are true writers are never going to be disappointed if their work is never published, true writers write for the pure joy of writing. It has nothing to do with proper spelling. If I were aspiring to be a professional speller then you can tell me I am setting myself up for disappointment.

Turtleguy is my second favorite diary, I absolutely love him. He makes my legs weak with laughter, with lust, with sadness and now with anger. And he is a lovely writer, in fact I have no doubt that if he were to ever publish a book it would be my favorite. If this were indeed a paying gig I would hire him in an instant. And if he wants to be irritated with improper grammar and spelling, that�s cool with me, everyone is entitled to their opinions and their peeves. I just really felt the need to respond to this. It is in no way directed back to turtleguy in any negative way. In fact I thank him for pointing this out and I only admire and respect him even more. I�d still love to sit on a hilltop with him.

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