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2002-01-04 - 7:31 p.m.
Dirty coffee cups left lying around in a two day period of time....seven. I�m a
pig.
At work today a friend of mine asked if I had a spare minute. I did. So she
grabbed my hand and pulled me in the back with a newly sharpened knife. She
then stopped in the only unpopulated part of the restaurant and lifted her chin
up. I�m thinking, �Oh my God, she wants me to slit her throat!� But no, she
had a little whisker growing under her chin and it was �tickling� her. So I had
to squint my eyes to see it, grab it with my fingernails and cut it off. I guess
that�s what friends are for. It reminded me......
In elementary school my group of friends decided one day that we needed a
leader. Somehow it was agreed that Kelli would become that leader. And she
used her power to the fullest. Every so often she would come to school and
announce that at recess we had to get her loose tooth out. So when recess
came we would all gather in the windbreak and surround her with nothing less
than the ritualistic awe and respect that a high priestesses must have received
when practicing magic on the winter soltice. Whomever was chose to actually
PULL the tooth out was revered as that day�s very special person. The person
that got to hold the wad of tissue under Kelli�s mouth was second in respect for
the day. I often got to hold the tissue.
One day Kelli stayed home sick and I with all my designs on the throne took my
opportunity. I announced that we should elect a leader in the wake of Kelli�s
absence. To my delight I was elected. And my first order of business was to
implement a new order of leadership. It was my decree that we would change
leaders weekly. It was met with approval. Kelli didn�t come back that week
and I enjoyed my week of being in charge of a group of ten.
And then she came back. Kelli had this power, she was very dominant. Even if
you didn�t like her you still revered her, you still fell silent at one disproving
look from her. She immediately overrode my decree and ousted me from the
group. She didn�t oust me right away, rather she waited for her chance to
humiliate me so I would leave on my own accord. That day came pretty quick.
My Brother and I were Ouija board devotees. One night I asked the board if this
guy named Eric, who I had been in love with since kindergarten, would ever be
my boyfriend. It said yes. I asked when and it replied, June 2nd. That was a
week away. Of course I told my friends. When June 2nd arrived I felt like a
bride must feel. I felt like all eyes were upon me on my special day. Eric came
up to me and told me he needed to talk to me at recess. My friend Karin pulled
me aside right after that and told me that I shouldn�t talk to him because Kelli
was playing a joke on me. I didn�t believe her. At recess I went to talk to him,
a group of about twenty of my peers surrounded us. I don�t know how I
realized it was indeed a joke, but I did and I started to run away but Eric
grabbed me, lifted me up and started spinning in a circle. He was squeezing
me, the kids around us were relatively silent and I, in a panic, FARTED. And it
was no silent fart either, it was a full blown, eight year old who had beans for
dinner fart.
I ran all the way home, didn�t even get my backpack from my locker. I just ran
home.
I didn�t hang out with them anymore. It was the end of the school year and my
anger didn�t subside in time to talk to anyone before getting out for the
summer. I spent the summer with my friends from the neighborhood, and I
plotted.
When fourth grade started I formed a new group of my own. We were based
solely around the discovery of a four leaf clover at recess one day. We called
ourselves the Leperettes. Like a female version of a Leprechaun. And I gloried
in the leadership of us. Sometime in the winter I started writing these little
plays. My teacher would let us go rehearse in the vacant classroom next door
when we finished our work. And then one day we were ready and the whole
fourth grade class was excused to the auditorium where the Leperettes
performed their first play. And it was a SUCCESS. Kelli and my former friends
begged to put on a play with us. I agreed but only if I were fully in charge.
The second show was a success as well. I kind of started hanging out with my
old friends again, letting my new fend for themselves. Eventually I rejoined
Kelli and my old friends and remained with them until shortly after high school.
I didn�t see Kelli truly pay for what she did to me until our senior year. All
three of her sisters had been Homecoming queen and it was just assumed Kelli
would be too. But even with all her glorious power she had over people, when
it came to choosing the most popular girl in the school and by doing it with
ballots she couldn�t see, she lost. Her best friend won, the girl who was Kelli�s
little tag along, her little puppy. It was a great feeling to see her eyes cloud
over in anger. Is that wrong? I have a lot of issues with Kelli, but in her
defense she was a very good friend and she was someone who I really looked up
to. So....all that memory just from trimming a whisker. I had another memory
about whiskers that grow in strange places on females, but I think I�ll refrain
from sharing that one for fear of really embarrassing myself.
For the last fifty five minutes I have been listening to the sound of a coin going round and round in my dryer. A few years ago I tried to come up with something that would line the interior of the dryer basket so coinsm buttons and snaps wouldn't make such a racket. I need somethig flame resistent and thin. Any ideas? I attempted gluing an old blanket in there once, uh, bad idea, glue melts. Ruined a whole load of jeans. DUH. It would really save my sanity a little to find something. |
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