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2001-12-27 - 4:16 p.m.
Yesterday I called the girl who has/had been my best friend since we were ten. Over the past few years she and I have allowed the friendship to falter and through various methods I have tried to rekindle to no avail. I call her whenever I have the opportunity, ie; when I have something of importance to tell her. I should know better than to think she would ever care about anything anymore. I should have known twelve years ago when she was a passenger in the car on one of my first driving ventures alone and I started sliding through an intersection and instead of facing death with me, she jumped out the door....I should have known then that she would never remain in situations that didn't suit her or didn't benefit her in any way. Our relationship faltered sometime around my twenty first year when I moved my stuff out of our apartment because I was tired of paying 1/2 the bills when her Mother and boyfriend were living with us. She was mad. But the real clincher was a few months later when she called to see if I was going out with her that night and I told her I had strep throat and a fever of 104. Which I did. Her reaction was to scream, "You're such a fucking basket case" and slam the phone down. Our story started when we were ten, somehow we were under the table that the pencil sharpner was on and we were tying peoples shoelaces together when they sharpened their pencils. From then on we were inseperable. I lived with her for a year in high school when I ran away, we always dated friends so we could go on dates together, we were essentially the same person. After high school we got an apartment. Then she got pregnant. We moved to my childhood home that was vacant, my MOther let us live fore free until the baby was born. Then we got another apartment where the three of us lived until I moved put when the baby was three. Anyway. I called last night to see if I could take Brittany out for a day (Britt is the baby I helped raise) and to tell J. that her cat was really sick and she should probably come and see her. This cat we smuggled to J's when we were eleven, J loved this cat but the cat didn't like babies and after having Smokey for nine years she had to give her to my Mother for fear Smokey would bite the baby. Smokey has had an eye infection for the past week, was on antibiotics and had to have her eye washed daily. But yesterday she started rubbing her eye with her paw and it POPPED out. I am not joking. The thing landed in a blob on the counter. And then blood started GUSHING out of the socket. Thank GOd the vet is only a 1/2 mile away. But the point of the story is to report that J. didn't give a shit. In fact she laughed after a little gag. The J. I used to know would have rushed out here. I hear her husband in her voice a lot, she has changed in to him. And she's gained at least eighty pounds over the last two years. She can't be happy. Snow is beautiful. It is such a wonderful challange. Like a game of strategy. This morning driving on the highway to work, trying to keep my eyes focused though the blowing snow was coming directly at me and the lights reflecting on it make it rather disconcerting, I realized I was planning my next move according to how many cars I had to pass, when I should pass them, how fast I should pass them. You can't pass too many cars on a morning like this because as you pass you become blind by all the snow, so you have to plot who to pass and when to pass so your blind time is minimum. It's just so cold, so fresh, so pure looking out there. So comforting. I could never imagine being without snow. |
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