DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2015-03-27 - 2:57 a.m.

I got one of the strangest "compliments" the other day. A lady called me over to her table to tell me that she just couldn't help but to tell me that I looked like somebody who should be on "Dancing with the Stars". What do you say to that? Seriously. It was very bewildering.

In other news. I've been in a very strange state lately. I'm not exactly inhabiting my own life. At all. And I've been enjoying it. I need to go to therapy and I've been trying!! I've really been trying! I call this one place every Monday and Tuesday when I have time to be on hold. And I'm always like the eighth call in the queue. About five minutes in I panic and hang up. So I tried a couple of other therapists. The first one I called the receptionist told me that the doctor made her own appointments and took my number and info and I waited for two days for her to call me and when she finally called me back I was at work and she left a voicemail telling me that she wasn't taking any more clients. So I called another the next day and it was the same exact thing except it only took a day for this one to call me back to tell me he wasn't accepting new clients. So this problematic. The good news about this current state of unrest in my life is that I've lost twelve pounds. Losing weight gets addicting when people start noticing. I NEEDED to lose weight. Dear god, did I. So this is also good. I feel, I feel really, really good right now. But, I feel good because I am not really living my life. And that is not good. You know? So.

Work is fine. Been busy. Been having a lot of late nights. I'm not getting to sleep before four these days. I don't enjoy that. I was scheduled to work Saturday lunch this week which I normally REALLY like to do. But I had to switch with someone because there's just no way I can get up to do a lunch shift right now.

I had a physical and a dental appointment this week. It felt great to take care of myself. I also had a really nice massage on Tuesday. I might be already addicted to this massage therapist and this was the first time I had been to him. He was just so NICE and nurturing. I felt so calm and healthy after my session with him. I want to make an appointment with him weekly.

Cats are great. We have a mouse right now. The cats caught him this week and Eric rescued him from a game of bat the mouse around the yard. We put him in a cage for the rest of the day to make sure he was OK because he looked pretty beat up. Then I tried to release him later in the day and he wouldn't leave the cage. So at dark I brought him back in the house. I tried again the next day with no luck. So now he's living in our old gerbil cage. He seems pretty happy. I'll try to release him again on Saturday.

OMG.

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