DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2013-03-29 - 2:03 a.m.

I'm right back to my terrible schedule. I get off work sometime around midnight and then I get home and it takes me at least three hours to unwind and fall asleep. I don't like it. Next week I requested what will hopefully be my permanent schedule once I get the last of my pesky debt paid off and can not worry so much about money. Which means that I'll only have one closing shift on Thursday. Good.

The reason I asked for a little bit of an abbreviated schedule next week (I am losing a day and working lunch shift instead of a dinner shift) is because Eric is gone for two weeks and I get so freaked out leaving the house and the cats alone for my eight hour shifts. Even with my security camera going so I can check in every five minutes like I do...I freak out. On my normal nights I don't really relax and totally focus on work until I know Eric is home. So...it will be good next week to just work one late night. Even though I'll be losing money.

I've been missing travel lately. Last night I was nostalgic about my yearly trips to Florida and the long drive. Tonight I'm thinking about the trip to Europe. As much as I hate flying and as terrible as I am at it...once I got to my destination I would always realize what an incredible time I had on the flight. Either way...to or from Europe. Going to would be so quiet and dark and I'd watch movies into the wee hours while everybody slept and then I'd finally snooze a bit and wake up to breakfast being served and EUROPE beneath me. Coming back to the States was always good too...I was always excited to come "home" so the flight would be anxious for me but it was always light and I would watch a ton of movies and I would obsessively watch the screen that showed where the plane was over the earth. I need to go someplace soon. I need a bit of solitude, actually. I think even a weekend up north alone would suffice. I just need some kind of adventure. I need some kind of experience where I am headed toward something.

Anyway. I have two weeks alone. I have projects planned and I will probably not complete a one of them. But I do hope to get some seedlings for my garden started...at the very least.

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