DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2013-03-28 - 12:34 a.m.

It seems like I've been writing in this diaryland diary forever. But, in fact, I have not. I went back today to read things from the late 90's and I found out that hey! I didn't write here in the late 90's. This diary is purely post 90' which means that it's post my ex boyfriend and that entire life that I lived. So weird. Anyway.

My ex boyfriend and I used to drive to Florida every year. His family had (has) a house on the beach near Miami and we used to go for a couple weeks every year. I hate Florida and I'm not a beachy type of person but man, I loved that trip. Mostly because I loved that drive. It took almost 24 hours to get there and we would do it in one shot. Jon would set up his SUV with a mattress in the back and a TV with a tape player and one of us would drive and the other one would sit in the back and watch movies and/or sleep. It was crazy intense. And every year he would try to beat our time from the previous year so bathroom breaks would be timed and hurried. As much as I protested that I secretly really loved it. So we would usually arrive in the middle of the afternoon. And it would be an amazing feeling. Because we would leave this snow and cold and grey and we would drive through a night and be foggy and then we'd step out of the car and it would be sunny and warm and we could smell the garlic in the air from the pizza place next door and we would unload the car and I'd unpack and get things a little settled while Jon went and ordered pizza. And we would sleep like zombies and then have our vacation. And it was fantastic. I miss that drive. I really, really miss that drive. I loved it. I loved that entire dark night driving through state after state. I loved how we would always arrive in Atlanta in the early morning and the traffic would already be crazy fast and overwhelming and then we would be through that and realize that we still had almost half a day to go in the car. And then, bam! We were there.

The last year we went we weren't together any longer. I shouldn't have gone with him, but I did anyway. We had been broken up for months at that point but he wouldn't go without me and I finally agreed to go at the very last minute and it was already pretty late in the day and we were both exhausted and we decided to stay in a hotel in Kentucky over night and now I'm sorry we did that. I should have done one last endurance drive straight through.

I hope that someday I get to do a really long road trip again. Before I get too old to do it. Right now I am feeling like driving to Columbus Ohio and back in one day is a lot and that's only like an eight hour round trip (or maybe twelve, I can't remember if it's 4 hrs or 6 hrs there).

Work was good tonight. I am finally feeling the benefits of my vacation. My first week back to work after ten days off I had terrible cramps and so I wasn't very present and I was uncomfortable and annoyed. Then I got that horrible flu and I missed more work and the days I was there I was uncomfortable and annoyed. This week I feel great and work was good tonight. I wasn't uncomfortable or annoyed by anybody even though it was the same old same old. If things continue this way I should be able to meet my five month financial goal without burning myself out. I am promising myself, from now on, that when I start getting burned out and sick of bar people and bar stuff that I am going to take a step back and take a vacation.

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