DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2008-03-26 - 9:06 p.m.

Remember way back when I had that bladder infection? When I had a blazing fever and couldn't sleep for a week and a half? And the doctor I saw in Spain diagnosed it as a bladder infection without blinking an eye? And gave me antibiotics? (I'm leaving off with the stupid question marks now) And then, three days later I was still in misery and supposed to board a plane to Italy for a week where I was to stay in a secluded monastery where I was supposed to write my brains out but I had to cancel the trip because I was so sick and nothing was helping and for days and days while that doctor was running all sorts of other tests on me I thought I was just crazy and dysfunctional and that I was just scared to go to Italy to write my brains out and maybe I was just creating an illness. But then the tests came back that I had a resistant bacteria and the antibiotic I had been given wouldn't have touched it. Which would explain why I suffered through a bladder infection for a week longer than I should have. Given the correct antibiotic the infection was gone within 24 hours.

Anyway...I feel that my job situation and the bladder infection were very similar.

I was beginning to think that I was just so opposed to having a job that I was creating intolerable job issues in my head. Because seriously, how is it possible that I found the two jobs in this area that should have been EXCELLENT but turned out to be HORRIBLE? I really should have been able to be successful at both those places but they both had elements that were deleterious to my ever achieving anything close to success or even comfort.

So...it is very relieving, having just returned from my second night at my new job to know....THAT I CAN TRULY FIND A JOB WHERE I CAN BE COMFORTABLE. Oh sure, this place has it's issues...but they can all be dealt with and even honored if need be.

Now that I've found a job that I can be happy having...I realize that I really DO want to work (but not as many hours as I used to).

Also. OF COURSE. I am training today, tomorrow and Friday but I have the weekend off and OF COURSE...my evil devil cramps arrived three days early. They weren't supposed to happen until Saturday. But they started two hours before I had to go to work tonight. So I took my maximum dose of ibuprofen (which lasted for two hours) and went in. And hopefully I never have to deal with evil devil cramps again because next month I will be getting an IUD installed and it should help. PLEASE HELP.

That is all.

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