DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2006-11-18 - 12:49 a.m.

All right. So I didn't end up drinking tonight. For some reason I have this weird thing about alcohol and hot beverages. I can have one or the other...but not both on the same night...and tonight a cup or two of hot chocolate soymilk sounded better than wine.

WHAT?

Yeah, that's right.

I also wrote another 341 words for my novel. So I'm up to like 3,ooo pathetic words or something and still have no idea even what I want to be writing about. I don't know why I do this to myself. I knew from day one (when I was hauling my half dead cat to the vet) that I wasn't going to be very into this this year. And I'm not. I don't even care. But that's part of the problem you see, I WANT to care again.

I hate the telephone.

In my next house I am going to have lots of lights. Lights that actually enable you to see when they are turned on. And I am ripping out all phone lines except one. I hate phones. I might not even have a phone actually. We don't need phones anymore do we?

I hate the telephone.

Yesterday I did something really juvenile and deleted someone from my MySpace friends list. Because I was pissed off that she had deleted one of my comments. I've been kind of snorkling at myself all day about it. It's funny...but it's childish. I am rather amused with myself about it. I just wrote a really long "why I did it" thing...but deleted it because I am trying really hard lately to not talk about people AT ALL. This makes the second time today I've had to hold my tongue. It's not good to talk about people. Anyway...MySpace rules. It's like I'm twelve all over again. Actually, I think I was more mature at twelve than apparently I am now.

When I was in fourth grade I had a Poochie notebook in which I wrote the names of people in my club. When I kicked them out of the club I would tear the page out and throw it away and rewrite it. So I guess I am kind of acting like I did in fourth grade. I need to re-do my page with Poochie.

I think I am tired.

I hate everything.

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