DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2006-06-27 - 3:30 p.m.

One waste of a day. Totally.

This morning I woke up at 7...thought to myself, "damn, this is way too early to get up," and went back to sleep. Then I woke up again at 8:30 and was completely awake...but...my Fishy cat was so fucking adorable sleeping next to me with her little paw on my shoulder that I couldn't stand to get out of bed. So I closed my eyes again. I woke up every half hour from then on until I decided, at 11:30, that I better get up. Because the cat food man is due at some point today. What point I don't know. I have a list, a long list, of things to do today. Four of which require getting dressed, brushing my hair and going out. For the last four hours I have found things to do that don't require getting dressed or brushing my hair. These things include...reading about ways to destroy the earth...making more lists of things I need to do which surely I will never look at again...making a new sign for our front door with our names on it so that maybe someday the postman will figure out that we are supposed to get mail here (this project took me one hour. Which is just insane considering that the only materials I used were paper, glue and my black marker.)...making hard boiled eggs and actually standing at the stove the entire time they boiled...and finally, deciding that before I could do anything else today I had to find out what kind of bird we have swooping our swimming pool. I think it is a swallow of some sort, but I still haven't figured it out totally. Which means I don't have to leave the house yet.

And I have to leave the house today because I have one glass of water left. ONE. I need to get water.

So here I am, sitting in my little cocoon...while around me things are moving forth...my best friend's baby took her first steps, my ex best friend's daughter, the baby who filled my life from the age of 20 until 24, just started her first fucking period and is going on group dates, another friend of mine just found out that she is totally unplanned for pregnant (once again, the morning after pill resulting in pregnancy, this makes friend number two), my youngest brother has a job, my grandparents are adding more bridge (the game) days to their schedule, I've heard the rumor that my ex-and sometimes-boss of thirteen years has just sold the restaurant and...it looks like it might RAIN today!

And so on and so forth.

That is all.

And, it would be very difficult to destroy the earth. That's not to say that it would be difficult to destroy humanity and other life (we seem to be doing a fine job of that task)...but to destroy the earth, to annihilate it into a gas cloud or energy bolt, that is nearly impossible.

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