DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2005-06-11 - 5:55 p.m.

So the following was actually written last night but stupid motherfucking crap ass CRAP fucker Diaryland kept telling me the server was too busy to accommodate my non Gold member ass (and really, I would be a gold member except that I was once a gold member for two years and I never used ANY of the things that are benefit to Gold members so in my twisted, self absorbed mind I somehow believe that I have a couple years free on diaryland�.)so yeah, this was written last night�.before I went to bed and then woke up and went to the airport to get Fabien and then on the ride back went down the �whore road� so I could see the prostitutes that I didn�t believe existed and sure enough, there they were�the prostitutes, sitting in white plastic chairs along to high way with stiletto heels and micro mini skirts hiked up to their over full breasts. I felt at once very sick and very sad when I saw them. At two in the afternoon, sitting by the side of a road, miles and miles of prostitutes. Oh and then we went to a new grocery store and it was HUGE. The biggest grocery store I have ever been to. And the funny thing is that this huge, biggest ever, grocery store didn�t have three of the things I needed to get. And I find that very weird.

****************

I don�t even know where today went. Or when today happened. I seem to have woken up in a really, really, really crappy mood, so much so that I elbowed my husband in the face when he kissed me good morning and then proceeded to storm around the house in grouch mode, for no apparent reason, for pretty much the entire day. We did go to the bank and get cards straightened out and insurance purchased and talked a little about a car loan (FOR ME FOR ME FOR ME�I have never had a car that was good enough for a LOAN!!!)and we did come back to watch the tree guys finish up the last part of what they were doing, which was putting our trees back in order. And they did a fine job, the yard looked totally different and then I was compelled to mow the lawn because I wanted everything to look pretty. I also praised the palm tree numerous times because it got quite a hair cut today and actually (but don�t tell the palm tree) I think she looked better before the hair cut. But this is healthy for her. But I feel bad for the palm tree, I think she feels (and we found out she was a girl palm tree today from the tree guy) butch now.

Oh, so I was grouchy, got some thing done that I found necessary to block pretty much from my consciousness and then I came home and made toast. And I kept eating toast all day. And then I tried to exercise but I couldn�t because the DVD I put in was too funny�so then I watered plants and sprinkled some yard and took a shower and dried my hair and then the phone rang and Eric wanted to know if I was going to dinner with him and his colleagues and I said, �Not at eleven I�m not.� And he said they were going soon and so I said okay. And then I got dressed and tried to clean the house a little but ended up spilling this nasty air freshener that I had sitting in the musty corner and it STINKS and I had closed it a few days ago�but today I SPILLED it and now the whole house smells like sour grapefruit which is funny because the air freshener is supposed to be fresh sea�.ANYWAY�

We went to dinner. And that made me happy. Because I went to the restaurant where I get my baked provolone cheese with the bread and the pesto. And it is SO FUCKING GOOD. And I was able to talk to people and I realized how much, already, I miss talking to people that are native speakers of my language. I am beginning to think that maybe it is not such a good idea for me to be living here�I was shy already, at least shy in the way that I never spoke�now I don�t know how to speak and I am getting out of practice of speaking in my own native tongue.

AND THEN�we went and got gelato. And that is good too. I ordered some chocolate and then the girl asked me (IN SPANISH AND I UNDERSTOOD!!!) if I wanted anything else in it, or only chocolate and I said, �Oh, After Eight tambien,� and After Eight was mint chocolate chip but she didn�t put that one in, she put the one next to it in there for some reason and it was like this cr�me brulee stuff and it was BETTER than the chocolate and I was so glad she fucked up.

And now we are home. And Boy sat on the couch and I told him to go to bed (he�s had a really, really, really long week of sixteen hour work days) and he said, �No, I want beer.� So I told him I would get him a beer and I poured a Boddingtons into a pint glass and gave it to him and I came upstairs to put jimmies on and I KNOW that when I go down there he is going to be asleep and the Boddington�s is still going to be in the glass.

I hate my husbands job, by the way. I am going to write volumes about this�but not tonight.

Tomorrow our friend Fabien is coming from France to visit us. I am happy about this. And maybe Sunday we are having a big BBQ. We have to buy more floatation devices for the pool.

And I had baked cheese and gelato tonight. I am happy.


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