DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2005-04-16 - 4:09 p.m.

I had a really shitty day at work today. It was VERY tense all day and I felt VERY out of place and actually had this feeling that everyone hated me. This came from number one�girl that I really adore who got mad at me yesterday because of this�.SO�this busboy we have at work was on parole and apparently dropped dirty for his first three drug tests and the parole officer told him if he dropped dirty again (I can�t believe I know this phrase, drop dirty) he would go back to prison. So, for the last couple years he just hasn�t gone back to his parole officer. And has been working for cash, and totally hidden from the law. They finally caught up with him a couple weeks ago and came to the restaurant to arrest him. But he is a pretty sharp cookie and was out the door and far away before they even asked for him. So he�s been on the run. My boss claims that he didn�t tell the cops anything but that this guy had been helping out here and there. But apparently the cops found his girlfriend and questioned her. And this guy assumes my boss told the cops who his girlfriend was and he called yesterday and yelled at him, saying it was a terrible thing to do to someone. And while I REALLY liked this guy, he is a good guy and he is not a threat to this world in anyway other than he is a total pothead�I said, �Why should he be mad even if Jeff did say something? He�s the one doing something wrong.� And this girl that I adore threw down the silverware she was rolling and said something like she couldn�t talk about this right now (in a really bitchy way) and stormed out.

So today she wasn�t speaking to me.

And then fucking Talking Girl. GOD. Last week she tells me that they would like to have a party for me and I said��Nope.� Because we have gone through this before�I don�t like parties and I honestly don�t have any spare time right now. My priorities right now are not parties. My priority MAIN is spending as much time as I can in my house. Because this is the last time in my life I will live alone and even though I really, really want to live with my husband�I am also going to really, really miss this. And I also have a ton of shit to do and I can�t really plan anything because I don�t yet have dates for appraisals and closing and I am pretty sure I will have another doctors appointment and I still need to actually move out all my furniture and get other furniture moved and I have to get my international drivers license and maybe go to Chicago if my visa is done and I have to pay things and get things and pack things and FUCK�I don�t have time for a party and I certainly can�t tell someone what day would be good for me. So what I told her is, �Nope. But, on Sunday (my last day) I will be more than happy if everyone wanted to go for a drink after work.� Because that is something I would like to do. Go for a drink and celebrate my last day. So she says, �Well, none of us can do it Sunday because that is Natallies BBQ.� And I said, �Fine.� Because the people I care about, my friend Kathy, Kris, Lucas�they will go out with me no matter what that day. So she gets all bent out of shape about it. Tells me I am SELFISH because they just want to do something nice for me and I tell her that doesn�t make any sense because if they wanted to do something nice for me they would leave me alone. So yeah, she won�t speak to me now and is being really, totally rude. And I could on and on but you don�t know her and so what I say wouldn�t make much sense. But she is just being a total bitch right now.

So today she wasn�t speaking to me either.

And it is SO time to get out of there. I gave up my shift tomorrow. I want to give up the rest of my shifts but since this house isn�t going to sell in time I will have to work them all in order to pay what I need to pay before I go.

I probably shouldn�t have gone shopping after work. I spent $60. I could use that $60. But I also needed to go shopping. Because I am still looking for a pair of black sandals. And I just can�t figure out why I can�t find a pair that I like. I have never had a problem finding shoes�but I hate almost all the shoes out there right now. Except for my $130 Danskos. I just can�t figure out how people are actually WALKING in the shoes they have out right now.

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