DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2004-10-01 - 8:49 p.m.

Three years ago I remember sitting on my back porch, right around this time of the year, thinking to myself (with a sort of sigh of relief) that I had a small, shitty house with potential, some cats that were like children to me, a crappy job, but a job where I had worked with the same people for 8 years and could pretty much do whatever I needed or wanted to do, and that I was always going to be alone because I would never find a perfect person to share life with. And I was fine with all that. I was perfectly fine with all of that. I was actually happy. I was VERY happy back then.

So it amazes me that things could have gotten to this point. Sometimes I am not even sure how to deal with it because I am afraid of exploding with the perfection of things...every last detail of my life is turning out perfect and it is kind of freaking me out.

I found the perfect man. I mean, REALLY, this man is PERFECT. I still get amazed when he leans over and kisses my forehead or reaches for my hand...just because he wants to do that.

My perfect man happens to be a person who loves travel and experience. So I get to hold onto his hand and go to all these wonderful, different places...I get to have paella with him in Spain, wine in France, Guinness in Scotland, diner food in Kentucky...

And now.

I find the perfect house...and I will be moving into the perfect house in just a couple months. With my perfect husband and my darling cats. And I just can't believe it.

I mean, you cannot BELIEVE this house we are going to be moving into. I cannot even begin to explain it...but if you watch the movie Stealing Beauty you will get an idea. And there is fucking JASMINE growing up the house, you can smell JASMINE in the bedrooms. It's incredible. Really. And it will be my home for the next couple years.

I am in complete and total awe of this.

Totally.

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