DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2004-08-23 - 9:05 p.m.

goddamnsonofabitchinhellfucker.

Washing machine needs a new motor. One hundred dollars. No washing machine for me. Laundry mat until I leave or come across another $50 Kenmore that will last for five years.

Didn't do a damn thing after work today because I have this really terrible thing about me that won't allow me to do anything if I have someone coming over at any time during the day. I cannot start projects if someone is going to come over. I don't know why. And I won't run errands or do anything else either. I just want to come home and wait. WHY am I like that? I am the same way about appointments. If I have a five o'clock appointment and I get off work at 2 I can't and won't do anything but come home and wait until it is time to leave for the appointment. It's crazy.

Did start a short story today. It's the first time I have written in about two months, ever since we went to Toledo and found out that we really were going to move to Spain. The story starts out. "We were drinking 40's and smoking cheap cigarettes that night." I write this line in here because it is so NOT a typical line for me. I am amazed by this line because it came from no where and it is so NOT my usual sap. (and when I say sap I am not saying it in a bad way, I am just saying that my writing tends to be more emotional and girl oriented.)

Sleep now.

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